Bday Lunch at my place....comfy comfy

@ Mooseheads...

My bday Presents...sweet right?

Me at Pancake Parlour...blowing my cute candle...

The Peace-loving Duo...

ok..i'm back...and older one more year....

how does it feel? erm...nothin much..haha...mb one more wrinkle?

so should i consider myself as an adult now?

haha...i can't believe it...i still feel like a lil school girl deep within....

yay..i'm goin on a holiday soon!
really lookin forward to it...
goin to sydney for 5 days..
goin brisbane for a week...
and then back to sydney...

hope to go clubbin in sydney...yay..

yesterday just went to moosehead...
it was pretty ok..
just that it was a lil too crowded and ppl were pushin their way through 3/4 the time...
but it was really good exercise..haha
we didn't drink anything..
just danced for 2 hrs plus and check out whatever's left of canberra's guys(which was rather sad)
but still ...really had fun...it was a really good bday celebration..

In the afternoon..we had lunch at my place...and it was really a good time of catchin up and making fun of each other...and though it was my bday..i wasn't spared...y? (Cos sean couldn't help it!)

Then after that...we went for a mega sale fair at the exhibition centre...it was ok..
not many things to buy...didn't buy anything really...probe wait till sydney and bris to see the warehouses there....

At night...we went to pancake parlour for dinner!..it was so yummy...i had the jamaican banana pancake...haha and my friends got them to put a candle on the ice cream...it was really sweet...(not only the pancake...but them singin to me my bday song quietly in the restaurant!)
love them to bits!

After dinner, we had coffee(i had s/b smoothie) at essen's cafe, it was really good...there was this cute waiter workin there...haha made sitting in the cafe really enjoyable..haha just lookin at him..hahaa...

Then after coffee we went back and rested for a while before goin mooseheads...haha..that was my day...haha it was really well spent with a whole load of beautiful friends...THanks guys!

And thanks to all that sent me well wishes...whether it is in msn, by sms, or even by phone( i was really surprised...ezrin was really on time...12 on the dot..heez..) it's the tot that counts the most...at least u guys remembered..i'm really touched! thanks!..and also thanks for the pressies..i really love them all!u guys know me so well...

okok....here goes...
probably my last entry as a 20- year old...

so what have i learnt in the last 20 yrs of my life:
haha i'll just list them as my brain flashes the random tots

1. Guys can be such jerks
2. Girls tend to get too emotional and unreasonable at times
3. That doing a biomedical science diploma was not the thing for me
   
4. i hate looking through microscopes
5. i hate smelly rooms
6. i hate exotic BO
7. i love lookin at fashion magazines
8. i really dunno what i want to do in life
9. i fall fast and pick up fast
10. i alwiz get into shity situations
11. i have a really good bunch of best and close friends
12. sometimes i'm antisocial
13. i do NOT tolerate cockroaches
14. i do Not work very well under pressure
15. Ktv is one of the world's best inventions
16. Canberra is not such a boring place after all
17. i absolutely hate computers to the max
18. i actually know how to set up a blog
19. i have survival skills
20. i love drama serials..
21. i'm 21 in an hour
    

flip up my screen,
turn on my msn,
looking for a source of comfort,
2 words appear on my thinking bubble: <<无奈>>

Just this feeling of sadness feels me in..
i'm in depression..
just thinking about it saddens me..

when i wake up tom morning..it's going to be my exam..
i can't run from it..
i dunno if i'm ready..
but i know that i'm already tired...

As i wait for someone on my list to talk to me...
everyone's busy with their stuff..
i scroll down the list to choose who i want to confide in..
i realise...
no one.

I can't find someone who know me enough that even when i dun talk..
they know...
or maybe that's not what i want..
what i want is someone who just knows me..

and no..i'm not in some desperate need of some special someone or other half whatever..
i just want a confidente..
who won't be critical..
won't put me down..
just quietly listen to me..
or mb just enjoy the comfortable silence..

*hush*

i just feel like whining now...pls let me whine!

oh anyone know where i can get a tagboard..then i can just add it on..and we can talk spontaneously....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....i miss ktv....
i wanna sing ktv......
so sad.......

I'm depressed! i missed the Singapore Street Festival this year...not like i've been going every year...but..the feeling is depressing..when ur frens start to win awards and stuff..and u're like..

i'm here..what can i do?
i miss it all..i miss the stage...the anxiousness...lookin at people...
it's the experience that means so much..
the hours of practise...
everything....it's like a dream...
a dream i tried to step in..
yes, i knew that i had to come out of it..
yes i knew that it was goin to be short lived..
only for a while...
but i really wanted to try it...
and yes..now that i've tried it...
i just want more of it..
want to do more of it...

now when everyone's moved on...
finding experiences for themselves...
i'm goin to have to remain stagnant here...
as much as i want to reach for that dream that seems somewhat impossible..
a dream that may make u lose focus of what u're doing now..
a dream that though unreachable, gives u this thirst and longing for it..

i know it's unrealistic..
not that i'm really good at it...
but i really enjoy it...

honestly..i think a lot of u won't get what i'm trying to say..
but the few that know me in that aspect..
should know what i'm talking bout...

Rainy Day in Canberra

Gloomy day in Canberra...
As i sit here trying to focus my attention on my notes in front of me...
i just had this urge of typing something in my blog..

something..maybe just anything...

Canberra hasn't rained in months and it's such a blessing when u see rain after so long...
i was just thinking...maybe the best gift God has given Singapore is probably rain...
back home..we just take rain for granted..to some extent..we may even hate it for making us wet while we're rushing off to our various appointments...
But..i just love the rain..love the smell of rain..the coolness of the air...the sound of the drops touching the ground...it is just HEAVENLY...

With my windows opened to the max...i take in a deep breath...
oooooooo...all worries fly away with the cool breeze....

just yesterday..i suspected myself of having eating disorders while studying for my nutrition...
realised the obsession and worry bout body image and food has really taken up most of the days of my life...reading the warning signs of eating disorders really had me wondering..."do i have an eating disorder?"

Warning signs:
- preoccupation with food, kilojoules and weight
- sudden decision to avoid red meat
- classifying foods as "good" or "bad"
-excessive concern bout weight
-strict dieting followed by binge eating
-incresing self critism of body shape and size
-depressive moods/anxiety
-use of laxatives/ diuretics to lose weight

i guess some points of my life..i just had all these...but of course there's much more to it...
and the thing is...sometimes u don't realise it..but actually u have it...
but nahz..i dun vomit and stuff..so..i'm not there yet....

somehow..i just feel like sleeping now..
but nahz..i've got to rush to finish up my studies..
next week's my last week of exams...
got to work hard...

Corn Soup from Ada and Stew from Miki - eternally blessed!

Another view of the Lake from the bridge

Beautiful Canberra Winter - Lake Ginnidara...