tired...
just came back from work...
just wan to slp..but tom have to wake up at 6 to prepare to go for lecture at the hosp at 8...

i finally bought a car...when i haven't even got my license for 1 mth...crazy..
today..i realised how easy it is to die...
it was peak hour...
my clutch control wasn't too good...car died gazillion times...
so many cars..i got impatient..
started drivin horribly...
it was so dangerous...yet i was safe
and protected...it's a blessing..that i'm still alive now..

will improve my driving...
must find time and place to do so...will prob do it in school..gain confidence and do it well...

i'm at it again..wahhh..hate myself sometimes..
but...yeah...new target in mind...
but my target has another target...whom he really likes alot....
oh well..actually i think our episode has ended...
but...it has a lasting impression on me....
i'm still living the moment...reality's so hard to accept sometimes....
it's alwiz when u wan something..u can't get it..and u keep pursueing it...

Seems like i've neglected the world...

mum's birthday today...
almost forgotten...good thing my bro reminded me..
this week was really hectic..i had 3 assignments due in 4 days..
hardly had enough slp..at least now finally i've done my part..

so it's all good...

realised..my life has been revolving around school work so much..i hardly notice anything else....
i've decided one thing..i'll erase whatever memory...and just remember that first day...cos after that..everything just went crazy...the first day was the sweetest and the best..that was what it was meant to be in the first place...just 1 day...

did i tell u...i finally got my driving license?
so far so good...drove alone a couple of times...drove distances a bit...
it's really fun..but somehow ....it's a bit dangerous..esp for someone with no insurance driving a no insurance car....
now is car hunting time...
need to work more...then have more money to afford the fuel and all...
life just keeps pressing on....no time to breathe..no time to turn my head..have to keep looking forward...feel so driven..but driven not by choice...somehow..i dun feel like i have a choice in this...got to study..got to hand in assignments...got to do placements...got to work..got to drive...got to graduate...they all dun seem like a choice....
yet in a sense...it is a choice....

sigh...dunno..sometimes feel really tired...
esp when it comes to ppl to ppl relationships...whether it's friends, family, strangers...
it's alwiz so difficult to decipher....
so hard to keep it just there...
sometimes it seems everything u do is wrong..
sometimes it's just ppl's perception and expectations of u...
sometimes...i just....
dun feel like it...
just can't be bothered really...
i think it's when one's tired...sick of all the shit..
then u'll be like that too....

Hey ppl...
guess what?! finally got my license! so cool right? finally am licensed to drive...
this weekend was rather thrilling i must say...drove by myself for the first time...
took passengers in the car also for the first time..well in case u're thinkin i own a car...
nope nope i don't! hahaa...it's my friend sheena's car i borrowed over the weekend....

the feeling...it's really quite different ....feel like i'm not that safe in that sense..i don't check as much..which is pretty much a problem right? hahaa...but i guess....really must thank God for the license..and also for the chances to drive..and protecting me on the road all this time...
sigh..but now..wanna find a suitable car...one that is in my price range...dun really wan to take much more from my parents..like shan said...buying a car is throwing money...i believe so..but if it's essential..then what choice do i have?

Was over in sydney the last last weekend...for the 3rd time on the International House trip...can't believe i did the same thing over for like 3 times..the cruise..the tower....just that this time we didn't go to the aquarium...at least this time we managed to check out some of the bars..hahaa and now i know tat syd is really much more happening than it seems....

today....feeling a bit down..tryin not to let it get to me..but well...i just seem to be sinking into it..
why should i be the 受害者..what did i do to deserve this?...
sad truth is...i know why...the ball was in my court..i just didn't know how to play it..and now it's lost...

Maybe You'll be there - Diana Krall

Each time I see a crowd of people
Just like a fool I stop and stare
It's really not the proper thing to do
But maybe you'll be there

I go out walking after midnight
Along the lonely thoroughfare
It's not the time or place
To look for you
But maybe you'll be there

You said your arms would always hold me
You said you lips were mine alone to kiss
Now after all those things you told me
How COULD it end like this

Someday if all my prayers are answered
I'll hear a footstep on the stair
With anxious heart
I will hurry to the door
And maybe you'll..

Be there ...

~Just love this song..have always loved it...it's one of the 2 earliest songs i've heard from Diana Krall...this one really captured me...and stayed with me all along...never get sick of it....
It's pretty sad...but it's the sad truth...to alwiz be lookin out for someone..knowin that the person is not goin to be there...but yet somewhere inside...just hoping to see the person around..hoping to have that coincedence..that fate...not knowing whether it's good or not to see the person..not knowing how to react, how it's going to be if u guys met face to face...but yet...the heart just doesn't give up...the eyes just refuse to listen...the mind tries to forget...it was a mistake from the start...we all knew that..it was a predictable end...but yet..why does the heart hurt still?