Reminiscing

Is that what they call it?
Waking up in my room, smelling the air..my bed, my pillows...
just lying there lingering...feel nice, feels comfy..feels at home..
i love to smell things..smells help me remember moments..happy moments, sad moments...
but today..it was happy moments...
the air today is cool..is still..
my heart feels still...
I remember the days of happiness, of just lying about, enjoying the company, enjoying closeness, feeling happy, smiles all over, sweetness all over...
Even though knowing that feelings are temporary...these ones make them all worth the effort of creating them.

i guess...i've reached a stage of numbness..
numbness to things, numbness in front of someone...
no feeling, no expression..afraid to say another hurting word, afraid to listen to another story.
no longer trust, no longer want to trust.
it's funny how a trusting person like myself can reach a stage where i totally distrust someone,
to the point where i lose faith and hope in them.
But still, i wish em all the best, hopefully someday they can figure their lives out, hopefully someday they'll realise the true meaning of loyalty, faithfulness and love.