New life - Freedom!
3 months after THE breakup, i've grown to be a much stronger person.
Used to think, probably still think about it sometimes...why do people have to be so mean?
Why can't guys just mean what they say all the time?! Why does the truth seem so cruel sometimes, or why does the truth seem so unreal?
Now, i'm at peace, people can do what they like, i can't expect perfection out of them. Why? cos no one is perfect, we're all struggling in this world to get through it, make a living, survive practically, how could we put all our hope in imperfect people that will never satisfy us. We'll only end up disappointed and depressed. I'm lucky God said that i was only passing through this place, that i don't belong here, that one day i'll go up and be happy always, forever, in the warmth of His love. He has given me strength through these months, he has given me people to show me his love and comfort, he has showed me that it is freedom that i have received. Sadness and pain, they are just temporary, but he is faithful and forever. I'm human, i go through the emotional pain and struggles, i still do feel them..but now, i delight in them, i know that he will deliver me, that he has great plans for me!
Life's funny, in the end..I realised, probably i didn't really love him, i thought i did, but it probably wasn't love. I've found my first love to be my faithful love, through these years, he never really left, neither did i. This is probably the 3rd year now, and i still like him lots, it's simple, it's mutual. He's the same. After a year of rejection, we met online one fine day, and it instantly worked out. Even now, he makes me smile just thinking bout him, he makes waiting feel like it's a good thing and not a drag, i feel happy just being beside him, and he doesn't realise how easy it is for him to push the buttons to make me smile. My dad calls this puppy love.Seriously isn't love meant to feel this way? You tell me..
I've never felt this way with the other. Only felt pain, hurt, guilt, insecurity and anger for most of the time. No matter which buttons he tried to press, it somehow seemed to be the wrong one all the time.Vice versa. To him, i was the unreasonable, pms b****. Funny thing is, this actually lasted a year. Yea we had good times, but that's probably 1/3 of the time, given the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad it's over, i'm glad i'm free to love again! I'm glad i can be who i am, just the way i'd like to be, and the most importantly, i'm glad that i was drawn closer to God through this incident.
