these days...

been feeling a bit down...
no it's not the time of the month..
but i'm living in personal uncertainties again...
what job, what to do, what i want to do..what God wants me to do....
life...too many choices...
me...too fickle...too indecisive...
sometimes i really wish i had someone to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it...
or at least someone to decide for me...just hold my hand and bring me through this phase...

Yes, i do know that God has his plans for me, that he has big plans for me...
and i should heed and confide in Him, and trust that He will bring me through all these, be the one to hold my hand and give me strength...

i do believe, i have faith...

i dunno...feel like i'm so contradictory...as much as i believe, i'm just tired of hoping and waiting and tryin to make myself move on..think bout other stuff...understand that it's not time...


i miss canberra in a sense...miss the chats and freedom in a sense...
even though coming back...should make me feel more at home...in a cosier more warm environment...i realised somethings just don't change....the touch of loneliness..


haven't talked to someone for a couple of days now...missing that someone...
but someone's not online...i would think of the person as...my sanity, my sound mind, my comforter and encourager....whenever i talk to that person..i'm always brought back to where i'm suppose to be...always bringin me back to where i should be focusing...what saddens me is...why do i feel so much for the person? Silly me knows that the wind is blowing in only one direction...or at least that's how it seems at the moment...but yet i can't stop the feeling..keep wishin and hoping that this someone..may someday pick me up from the tracks...bring me into the train..and let me tag along to journey's end...

don't ask me who...some may know..some may guess...but i may not tell..