TuRn The BeAt ArOUnd!

2010-05-30T17:29:00.002+08:00

what do you do when you miss someone?

all you can do is pray...
pray that one day we'll be together again,
pray that you'll be strong enough to overcome these feelings,
pray for comfort, pray for wisdom, pray for courage to take each step at a time...

mmmm nothing's happened, we're getting along as close as we can...doing whatever we can to keep the communication going...but nothing beats being close to someone physically, to be able to give them a hug, a kiss or just hold their hand..nothing beats just seeing them smile in front of you with eyes lit up and being able to touch their cheeks...

mmmm we can see our future together...or at least our hoped future together...wish time could pass faster.....

but in the meantime...i will pray...i believe in time, we will be together for a long long time...

2009-12-13T22:42:00.002+08:00

How do long term relationships work?

DO i really have what it takes to keep this going?

I'm not sure...time and time...i keep feeling like running away..
it's a constant thing...though there's no arguements...
no particular incident that cld cause this...
I just sometimes start to think..mb..just mb...this is enough...
what do i mean? I don't really know..this phrase just pops in my head...
and then i just feel like giving up..selfish-probably!

Pms?is it really?cld it be? it just ended tho..

being apart feels sad...and to some extent feels distant..
when he's sick and not feelin well..i can't be there..
what he's really experiencing..i can't exactly comprehend..
I feel upset that i'm missing him...also upset that i caused him to miss me..
Remind me why we first started...then remind me where we're headed..

why is my heart seemingly wavered? Feelings haven't changed...
just emotions? how do long term relationships work? how do we make it work?
why do we even try to make it work? Is it really worth it? cld it be better to just let the other person go...why keep him next to me while i'm so unstable..
am i really mature enough to handle this? Dad thinks i need to grow up..
will i ever?

sorry for the ranting..just feelin down these 2 days...
feels like i'm procrastinating big time again...been shoppin today instead of studying...just really consciously not feeling like studying...=(

2009-06-10T23:14:00.002+08:00

我为什么总会留在喜欢人这种阶段呢？
几时会有我喜欢的人先喜欢上我呢？

现在喜欢的。。又是那种不应该喜欢的。。
他比我小几岁。。自己都不懂自己要走的路像什么。。
不知喜欢什么。。但就会每天想着。。
会每天想跟他聊天。。跟他一起。。
他就是这样吸影了我。。

回想到以前的男友。。会想念。。会喜欢。。也曾爱过。。
但也是那种没后过的爱情故事。。

有一天。。会有一个奇迹发生的！我相信。。

2009-03-30T18:15:00.002+08:00

Hmmm...

was just reading through my past entry...
guess i better correct something...
it's not that i never really loved the other...
it was that we were simply not suitable,
we didn't know how to love each other the way the other would feel the love.

Funny how absence does make the heart feel fonder...
Just 15mins of talking to him...and the effect lasted for hours...
Love's always playing a joke or two on it's checkers...
contented. happy!

2009-03-15T14:08:00.003+08:00

New life - Freedom!

3 months after THE breakup, i've grown to be a much stronger person.
Used to think, probably still think about it sometimes...why do people have to be so mean?
Why can't guys just mean what they say all the time?! Why does the truth seem so cruel sometimes, or why does the truth seem so unreal?

Now, i'm at peace, people can do what they like, i can't expect perfection out of them. Why? cos no one is perfect, we're all struggling in this world to get through it, make a living, survive practically, how could we put all our hope in imperfect people that will never satisfy us. We'll only end up disappointed and depressed. I'm lucky God said that i was only passing through this place, that i don't belong here, that one day i'll go up and be happy always, forever, in the warmth of His love. He has given me strength through these months, he has given me people to show me his love and comfort, he has showed me that it is freedom that i have received. Sadness and pain, they are just temporary, but he is faithful and forever. I'm human, i go through the emotional pain and struggles, i still do feel them..but now, i delight in them, i know that he will deliver me, that he has great plans for me!

Life's funny, in the end..I realised, probably i didn't really love him, i thought i did, but it probably wasn't love. I've found my first love to be my faithful love, through these years, he never really left, neither did i. This is probably the 3rd year now, and i still like him lots, it's simple, it's mutual. He's the same. After a year of rejection, we met online one fine day, and it instantly worked out. Even now, he makes me smile just thinking bout him, he makes waiting feel like it's a good thing and not a drag, i feel happy just being beside him, and he doesn't realise how easy it is for him to push the buttons to make me smile. My dad calls this puppy love.Seriously isn't love meant to feel this way? You tell me..

I've never felt this way with the other. Only felt pain, hurt, guilt, insecurity and anger for most of the time. No matter which buttons he tried to press, it somehow seemed to be the wrong one all the time.Vice versa. To him, i was the unreasonable, pms b****. Funny thing is, this actually lasted a year. Yea we had good times, but that's probably 1/3 of the time, given the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad it's over, i'm glad i'm free to love again! I'm glad i can be who i am, just the way i'd like to be, and the most importantly, i'm glad that i was drawn closer to God through this incident.

2009-02-10T09:02:00.002+08:00

Reminiscing

Is that what they call it?
Waking up in my room, smelling the air..my bed, my pillows...
just lying there lingering...feel nice, feels comfy..feels at home..
i love to smell things..smells help me remember moments..happy moments, sad moments...
but today..it was happy moments...
the air today is cool..is still..
my heart feels still...
I remember the days of happiness, of just lying about, enjoying the company, enjoying closeness, feeling happy, smiles all over, sweetness all over...
Even though knowing that feelings are temporary...these ones make them all worth the effort of creating them.

i guess...i've reached a stage of numbness..
numbness to things, numbness in front of someone...
no feeling, no expression..afraid to say another hurting word, afraid to listen to another story.
no longer trust, no longer want to trust.
it's funny how a trusting person like myself can reach a stage where i totally distrust someone,
to the point where i lose faith and hope in them.
But still, i wish em all the best, hopefully someday they can figure their lives out, hopefully someday they'll realise the true meaning of loyalty, faithfulness and love.

2009-01-20T13:46:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone!

Greetings greetings!! Happy new year?!
erm a little late...i know..sorry sorry...

well i'm blogging now from my dear friend's place and it's really nice here!..
oh if you're wondering...i'm in melbourne now...
going for an interview tomorrow...it's pretty exciting...never really had much experience with group interviews..but i reckon it's going to be a fun experience and i'm looking forward to it!

Well what have you missed since September?

Hmmm i've finally been granted my permanent residency visa in Australia...which is really cool then i don't have to keep applying for visas when i come over...
another thing is... i'm still hunting for my permanent job....so yeah..that's still in the process...
Everything's been really good..i've been truly blessed...only downside is probably my love life..but well...it'll peak up again..i'll be strong and recover my full cheerfulness soon i'm sure!

Hmmm...where have i been?
Erm well i was residing in Canberra for quite a long time waiting for my visa to get approved and finally flew back to Singapore in late Dec for the new year and a couple of weeks..and now i'm in Melb going for an interview..and i'll be flying back to Singapore on Friday for the Lunar new year...before flying back to Canberra...sounds crazy? yea..pretty much a little...but at least it's something to look forward to....

Was walking at Chapel St today...and guess what..i've finally got an outfit to wear for chinese new year..hahhaa...just picked it up from one of the shops...a black top/dress thingy...looks alright..feels comfortable..and no need to worry about 'zao geng'...so i think it's good for the new year..*ching ching*!

Alright...take care everyone! and update me with your lives soon kz!!
Love ya! cheers!

2008-08-31T16:33:00.000+08:00

Guess i'm back to blogging...

why is it, i remember my blog everytime i'm feeling down..
it's weird isn't it...
The boyfriend went to Germany last week,
it's a week now...and i'm still struggling to get a hold of myself..

These past couple of months have been fun, trying, happy,sad the works...

Quick review:
1) Applied for residency
2) Graduated from uni (officially)
3) Attended 2 weddings and cried in both (what a sob-bag!)
4) Moved house
5) New job - finally a dietitian @ work

As you can see..nothing much, you've not missed much of Meryl's life..

How's everybody? Still remembering me?

2008-06-03T13:58:00.003+08:00

Not been blogging for the longest time ever...
it's been a beautiful..yet trying time so far...
in love, out of love...happy sad...
life's just complicated....

somethings are really hard to get over...but we just have to move on...
the heart keeps lookin back..but the head doesn't want to move...
i don't wanna be like that...but why......

2008-04-14T19:21:00.001+08:00

What's meryl up to?

well..lots and lots...
dunno where to start..it's been 3 mths since my last entry i guess...
will update soon..heehee....

2008-01-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

傻瓜
歌手：温岚专辑：热
词:温岚曲:吴克群

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说

其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

2008-01-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

Now i know what it's like to be truly loved by someone special...

it's a form of 心动...a sort of 感动...

unstoppable....heart beats faster...smiles become subconsciously frequent..

Can't wait to go back Singapore next month....Chinese new year...family reunion...good food....what more can i ask?

2008-01-17T17:51:00.000+08:00

Recently been thinking..

unconditional love- is that loving someone entirely, no matter what faults, flaws or ugly dots the person has, one is still willing to stick with the person and love the person. is it the kind of love that overcomes watever weirdness and obstacles, just stick by the person...stay glued and never let go?

attraction - is that being aroused by the physical appearance of the person? is it the feeling of faster heart palpitation and shortness of breath...somewhat near hyperventilation? or is it just a mental stimulation causing a mad effect of wild thoughts in ur brain?

does every BGR have to include both unconditional love and attraction? can there be just love and not the attraction? I wonder....

or can one be developed while the other is progressing?

2008-01-17T17:23:00.001+08:00

Hog's Breath madness!!

days in sydney with my parents and cousin's family!!

2008-01-09T19:04:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged for ages...
it's been a busy few months since i started placements in late July...
can't believe how i actually got through those 15 weeks of placements non stop..
it's been amazing...

Parents came down to spend Christmas with me..
it was a really good time for us to meet each other again after almost a year of not seeing each other. We went over to Sydney on Christmas day and stayed there till the 28th....shopping in sydney is CRAZY....it was as if everything was free..people were just rapidly picking things up and paying for em....by the time i got into myers or any of the shops..i was already so tired from looking at the people and the mess..i didn't have the mood to really shop at all....

Life's a lil different now...learning new things....planning for the future....settling down....
Going to the working world soon...have to prepare...
going to start writing my resume soon....
got to start looking for jobs...

2007-11-06T19:13:00.001+08:00

feeling a lil upset...
everyday's been like a rush of waves...almost drowning...
emotions been up and down..one moment happy, next moment in depression...
don't wanna be like that too...

lots of work to do..no time to get emotional...
but what to do...it's just been like that...

2007-10-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

歌曲：因为爱上了

杨千嬅

也许是你修长的手指尖
也许是你突笑起来的感觉
轻靠着你的肩我已经不在乎靠不住的永远

有时候不知不觉会流泪
有时候觉得对你完全不了解
寂寞很安全介我宁愿冒险
看不到的明天只要看得到你

因为爱上了什么都舍不得
为了爱心疼说真的我很快乐
你也许不会是我牵着手走到最后的人
那又如何思念是诚实的

因为爱上了什么都原谅了
爱到哪一天自己都不敢保证
我们之外的别人
不会懂我这样的选择那又如何

虽然有时在怀里你的眼神远远的我没有多问
我就是爱上了我就是认真了
有什么不对呢

多希望我是这么坚强的女人。。但我却不是。。宁愿放弃。。看不到永久的爱情。。不实在。。感觉不到安全感。。没信心。。看不到你的付出。。体验不到你的热情。。有跟没有差不多。。虽然问题充足。。但却。。。仍然爱你。。

2007-10-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

don't know why..even though english is my better language...yet i like to use mandarin to describe my thoughts and emotions...weird it seems...

骗自己是不是人类中的一种技术？就算多累。。也还是会想到。。
女人真虚伪。。总是为心爱的男生找借口骗自己他一定是为了某某的原应才做出所谓的行为。。
女人总是吸一口气。。吞下自己的难过，自己的失望来接受所有的借口。
只要他说一句”对不起“， “请原谅我～”，“我错了！”。。自己就会心软如豆腐。。不理智的再接受无奈的日子。。也许只有我是这样想的吧。。过了一个星期。。不闻不问。。一丝的关心也没。。算了吧。。就是觉得自己好笨。。一直被玩弄都继续错下去。。自己问自己。。“值得吗？“。。虽然懂是不值得。。但还装着无所谓。。兜了一圈。。还是在原位。。

sigh...

2007-10-09T21:00:00.001+08:00

New placement this week..

this 5 weeks going to be in Canberra Hospital for placements....
it's just been 2 days...but i've been so incredibly stress it's not funny...
many many things to do..many expectations...everything seems to be coming in my face now and i'm not really ready for it....been clamming up for a while..find it difficult to express myself these days...especially to my supervisors and all...don't know why so shy..more like scared to say something wrong...just been wanting to slp straight after work everyday...
starting work at 830 and leaving at 5 is so tiring le....good thing i don't have to work this thursday and sunday..but i'll have to prepare my stuff...still the same lah..just that i get so much less pay...

now finding a place to stay from Nov....sigh..it's been pretty hard...i thought i had one place set for me..but well she wanted me to stay for a yr at least...and i couldn't commit to that..so i guess it has to go if she finds someone else....

Just signed up for the ielts test in Dec..sigh..english test again...hate doing language exams...never been good at it...O'levels only had a B3...but this time...i have to get 7/8 for the test...just so that i make it to apply for my PR...lots to think..lots to do...

Ppl ask me..do i really like Australia so much to want to be a PR here....well my answer is..i like it enough to want to be here..and i think when opportunity knocks..we should take it..for better or worse..it's for the experience..and i'm sure i'll learn from it..it's for 5 yrs..and i guess even plus 5 yrs..i'll still be young..and i can still go back if it doesn't work out here...

As for life outside work...i don't know why...things have just been moving in circles....no matter how many times i try to get out...i somehow get sucked back in...reminds me of a typhoon or cyclone...and i'm just so tired now...can't be bothered..just going to leave it alone for the moment..it's the busy period for everyone..and we're all trying to survive and graduate here...it's been hard... will be as supportive as i can with whatever energy i have left..and well just take it as it comes and try not to escape again for the moment...not sure if it's worth it or not..but at least we try...

2007-10-03T19:53:00.000+08:00

下一次恋爱
歌手：萧亚轩专辑：明天

作词:姚谦作曲:sakura akira 编曲:jae chong

还记得不停留着眼泪对天空~喊着
我恨你~的那年冬季
虽然当时心情还清晰
关于恨~早随他远去
只剩下可惜

好像退潮了一样
已经不伤心
想他的次数也已降低
却怀念起恋爱的心情
为一人心动牵挂美丽情绪

下一次恋爱~何时会再来
经过漫漫长夜总会温柔曙光在等待
寂寞的心太久空白我想念拥抱的实在

下一次恋爱何时会来
想要再冒个险
却又不想再次受到伤害
流过泪的心情会明白
我等待~某人把我的心再~打开

还记得最后一通电话
才明白爱情竟可以破碎得那么快
那曾熟悉的身体灵魂
一转眼变成了回忆
像不曾存在

无论是见面的愉快还是相思的情怀
有些心情也只有在恋爱中才会出现
我多希望明天再感受重来
等下次恋爱的曙光
我想恋爱

(oh baby you're the one for me)(yes you are)

2007-10-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

finally a holiday after so many weeks!
Thanks to Becky accompanying me the whole day..
we had such a lovely and relaxing time!

First, we woke up for a nice big breaky..which we spent an hour cooking and preparing it...
then after breaky...we got changed and made up to go to brand depot....after walkin in and out of so many shops...we finally got...nothing..hahahaha but a nice laksa and some spring rolls and also some green tea frappucino!guess it's still food that we're interested in...

then after, we headed to civic to get some coffee at Gus....chit chat chit chat...then later we went to funland..and played dance dance revolution and the other para kinda like game...hee...i'm so bad at arcade games..hahaa but it was fun...Becky was so good at it..hahaa...

After coffee...we went to pick alex..and then went for dinner at the Labour Club...well that was like the only thing open in Belco during this time..so not much of a choice really..haha...yup yup..

After dinner...we went to alex place to get some red bean which he had prepared for us..too full..will have it for breaky tomorrow...

well..things are getting clearer...i guess it's really best for us to be just friends at the moment...being in a rs is too taxing on both of us...as much as i wldn't wan it to be like that...it's only for the better...

2007-09-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

虽然很想念。。
虽然很想继续走下去。。

但。。

我很清楚由一个人的努力。。由一个人的体量。。
一点都不能帮我们克服我们之间的问题。。

有时。。可能就是因为太体量所以让自己变得痛苦。。
有时。。可能就是因为太喜欢而想放弃。。
有时。。就是想对自己好一点。。觉得自己应该得到的比对方能给的多。。而想放了他。。

你现在到底在想什么。。你懂得我心中的难过吗？

我要坚强。。不要气馁。。不要再难过。。不要哭。。
不能见面。。不能再听任何理由。。不能再读简讯。。
因为自己太清楚自己了。。
要坚强。。。一定要逞。。。

2007-09-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

realised that i haven't blogged in such a long time..
this time i've been wanting to add some ski photos my friend took...
just went to the snowy mountains in august..it was pretty fun i'd say..
i did some snowboarding...fell down until cannot fall le...good thing not injured..
but legs ache like crazy after that..haha...

my life's been a roller coaster..going up and down and up and down...
dunno how to describe..
emotionally unstable i'd say..hahaha...
but so far i think i'm tolerating well..

been having placements in the hospitals..
see all sorts of situations everyday...
realise how frail life is...already seen 2 deaths in these 2 weeks...
been gaining a lot of experience..really good...

2007-09-04T18:58:00.000+08:00

My theme song for now...
just what i'm feeling at the moment..

歌曲：不是真的爱我
歌手：孙燕姿专辑：风筝

你和我就算了吗
别用沉默代替回答
陌生得让我害怕
心像被针扎了一下

总是不提那句话
我想你是故意装傻
不是不懂得表达
还在等什么说清楚吧

我想你不是真的爱我
习惯被忽略不算自由
相爱的人总是不懂
为什么真心伤得特别重

我想你不是真的爱我
当体贴渐渐受到冷落
其实爱有很多选择
我也可以给你自由

终于明白那句话
爱能让人一夜长大
不成熟的感情啊
让我变得小心害怕

我和你就算了吧
不想再为爱而挣扎
爱情若没有火花
至少了解后懂得放下

2007-08-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

well...

it's finally the week of my holidays..and i've been enjoying it so far...
so happy to meet up with ol' friends and catch up with em the last few days over dinner and lunch..
today i travelled all around canberra...
went to deakin for yum cha, then to gunghalin for asian groceries, then to civic to cut hair and drink coffee and have cake...then went to florey for dinner at taj agra...it was such a fun day we had ....but a bit tired from the driving...
managed to settle some issues tonight as well..it's all good..feel better now...
the air is clearer..hope things will work out well...

2007-08-15T08:09:00.000+08:00

Alex just reminded me about this song yesterday..
so true..so sweet...

你要的爱
歌手：戴佩妮专辑：怎样

虽然经常梦见你
还是毫无头绪
外面正在下着雨
今天是星期几
but i don`t know
你去那里

虽然不曾怀疑你
还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一
原谅我怀疑自己

我明白
我要的爱
会把我宠坏
像一个小孩
只懂在你怀里坏

你要的爱
不只是依赖
要像个大男孩
风吹又日晒
生活自由自在

2007-08-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

歌曲：背叛
歌手：曹格专辑：superman

曲:曹格
词:阿丹邬裕康
编曲:涂惠源

雨
不停落下来

花
怎么都不开

尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人
欣赏悲哀

爱
只剩下无奈

我
一直不愿再去猜

钢琴上黑键之间
永远都夹着空白
缺了一块
就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何
say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白

爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛自己
完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管
只要你能愉快

心..
有一句感慨
还能够跟谁对白

你关上门之前
替我再回头看看
那些片段
还在不在

Just got to know this song...think it's really sweet...definitely ktv-worthy...
heee...how's everyone? been more than 6 mths since i came back to Aust...feel like it's been years...dunno when i'll be going back...

2007-08-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

what i've been afraid most has come back...
for a moment, i thought it's cos i have commitment phobia...
well it's true to a certain extent...
how do you commit to someone you think may hurt you?
sigh...i just lack confidence...lost trust...keep thinking why am i back in this when i tried so hard to forget, to move on, to live life...to a certain extent...to pretend nothin ever happened and just remember the sweet moments of what has passed...

silly as it seems..but just feel as if there's a string tugging me..
even though hurt, even though disappointed, even though sad, add tinge of insecurity...
yet put on a brave front, pretend to be magmanimous, pretend that i don't mind when i do...
how long can i be like that...

feel tired, feel like backing out...should i? or is it just the moment?

and no, it's not pms for sure...

2007-07-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

Semester's just started..
it's the first week of school...
everything has been going great...
just that...

i've been growing fatter...
sigh..ppl say being fat..it's like "fu"...suppose to be something good..
but...dunno why..the fatter i get..the more depressed and less confident i become...
sigh...esp when i'm studyin to become a dietitian...
social pressure? stereotyping? or just psycho problem...guess it's probably the latter...

been thinking back a bit...(esp since it's become the cold, intolerable winter)...
and realised..i've done so many stupid and silly things in my life that i can't believe i actually did it..
but yet...i dun regret any of it...cos for everythin i did...i put my heart to it...i was honest to myself and stuck to it no matter what the consequences were...

This time...i've become more homesick than i've ever been before...
last time...never felt the urge to go back S'pore...never felt the wanting for my family to come over..oh i miss familiar faces...i miss having that kind of comfortable silence in the company of close friends..where i can just sit there...dun talk..and just stare into space...

i guess...i've just began to be a bit more lonely...
but yet growing up to the real world of building contacts..and striving to be a professional in the working world..having bigger goals..doing bigger things...

2007-07-07T20:01:00.000+08:00

Winter...

sad, gloomy, grey and depressing...
that's all i can associate with it...
when i wake up in the cold...
when i see the rain falling out of the windows...
when i see the grey clouds flooding the skies...
one word comes to mind ~ depression

don't know how to describe this feeling...
just a sense of loneliness...
sense of insecurity...

every time i pray...i wish God was a physical person...
if i could see God, feel him, hold him....
i would want to hold him forever...
want to embrace him forever....
want to hold his hand forever....
who else could love me as much as him...
who else could stay firm supporting me through every single error and silly mistake in my life..
who else would always forgive me though i keep hurting him, and making him sad over and over again...
he is my portion, my all....he is sufficient...
in my vulnerability he will give me strength..
in my sadness he will bring happiness..
as i move further...he will steer me back...
in times of danger...he will protect me and keep me safe...
who is there like You, O Lord!

2007-06-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

Just came back from sydney today...
super missed my weekend there...
it was a very free and easy plan..but well...me and sheena already had in mind the main itineries..
the rest was filling in the gaps..it was great! Memorable experience!
Going to miss Sheena and Jik soon...they'll be going back end of this July...
After they're gone...i guess life's going to be different next semester...
I can imagine myself gone with the party days..and hello to routine boredom..
Today we had a nice seafood dinner and my bday celebration...so so happy that they remembered...they're probably my family here...in case u dunno what i'm talkin bout..it's my work place..

Life's been a bit....dunno how to describe..it's like i can feel it evolving..like turning or revolutionalising...and yet i'm not in control of it at all...really praying that God will take control and that i'll live in peace...

Ready to hit the streets!

Oyako Don for LunCH!

How's it possible to NOT go KTV?!!! Impossible!!

Love singing!!

Thai Entrees! Yum!

Met Josephine, Po Po and Zoey for dinner...

2 clowns at YHA!

Yummy Crab!

Dinner at the end of the day!

2007-06-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

I miss KTV...
Love this song..

我怀念的
歌手：孙燕姿专辑：逆光

作词:姚若龙作曲:李偲菘

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

2007-06-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today!
After 23 years of birthdays...i've finally reached a stage of just simple contentment...
not really excited or looking forward to any celebration...
but just having this peaceful contentment of personal time in my room...
some of you might think of this as loneliness...but to me...
it's not..i woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was God..
how he has blessed me through these years....

Thanks everyone for the well wishes..and the lovely presents..
Thanks for remembering me..
It's great to know that my existance is recognised...hee...THanks!

2007-06-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

finally photos from the stayover!

2007-06-13T14:53:00.000+08:00

Couldn't wait to put this up....

hee...i had the most wonderful weekend this weekend...hee....

Thursday i finished my 2nd paper...then went out with harsha to civic and did a bit of shopping..hee..but didn't buy much except a foundation...then at night i went to work and it was fun..cos me and jik were playin around in the kitchen..hahhaaa...it's like preschool!..hahaa..

Friday was great!...met up with Sheena for lunch in Kingston/Manuka....it was super yum! We had 2 pastas, one marinara and one spiralli..it was so yummy..and had nice smooth coffee too!...Then after that...we went to brand depot for a bit of shopping...but as of again...didn't buy much..but sunglasses..which was good too..cos i needed to get the sun out of my face when i drive..hahaa so so good!!...

Saturday was fruitful, me, sheena and alex spent the noon together making rocky road and tang yuan...then at night we met up with jik to eat dinner at this new chinese restaurant in belconnen...the food was good..really enjoyed it..then later we headed back for dessert..hee...so full after that!!Not to forget..we bought fireworks to play that night..and it was fun to see the lovely lights sparkle in the sky...look like stars...

Sunday was the peak! Went to church in the morning...guess what..i was the driver..but i was the one that woke up when my PASSENGERS started to call and msg me that they were out there already...super rush..hahaha zoom zoom..and 10 mins i was out there..hahaha so crazy... good thing we were in church safely and just slightly late..haha..still made it in time for praise and worship..hahaa so that's good..hee.....then after church...me, john and delani went to yum cha in deakin...so so so good!!...i love dim sum!! and the company was great too! After lunch..i came home..and guess what...i just slept and slept..then woke up when anna called me to ask me whether i was going to her place for the sleepover..haha then i told her i'd be there soon.....

Surprise surprise!! they had a surprise for me and Kat...it was so unexpectedly pleasant...we both didn't expect it...there were flowers, balloons, cards, cake with shortbread men...it was sooooo goood!!..my life was so filled with joy at that moment...felt so loved by everyone...totally appreciate it!...then as the night went on...we did lots of stuff like...try to come out with a choreography dance, play with fireworks, watched a Hongkong movie...and then it was ...the TRUTH AND TRUTH SESSION....it was soooo cool...how this session went on from midnight to nearly 6 am...and everyone was taking turns to doze off...why not? cos we were all snuggling in the dark..hahaa all nice and comfy with our quilts and all..it was soooo memorable...i konked out at 6 plus...totally KO... then when i woke up...it was just nice when others were also up...then we made scrambled eggs and pancake!...in the meantime...we had the BBC "Pride and Prejudice" on the screen...it was a 6 hr long show...can't imagine how ppl can watch it finish..i wasn't really concentrating..and fell asleep in the last couple of hours..hahaha... then after that...john and yenni and son cooked us dinner!! it was fish with rice and veggies...it was healthily yummy!...plus the chicken which anna bought to share..everything went so smoothly...Couldn't bear to call it a night...but i guess we all have work and exams to finish up! We'll have another one soon..i hope...heee.....

2007-06-03T12:05:00.000+08:00

It's your birthday today...
Happy Birthday!

Silly as it seems..yet i can't do anything about it..
I kept thinkin..it could have been, may have been, might have been...
but ultimately nothing happened...

Exam period...2 more days to study..
no motivation...yet i have to push on..i've come so far...i cannot get any failures..

Leaving everything to after the exams...or at least after next week...
one step at a time...Really happy that i have friends here to support me in everything...
Really wan to meet up with those that i haven't met in such a long time since i came..wish i cld keep up with u guys..but this sem has been a hell of a sem..but will do so after it's over k...

yup..cheerios..!

2007-05-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

tired...
just came back from work...
just wan to slp..but tom have to wake up at 6 to prepare to go for lecture at the hosp at 8...

i finally bought a car...when i haven't even got my license for 1 mth...crazy..
today..i realised how easy it is to die...
it was peak hour...
my clutch control wasn't too good...car died gazillion times...
so many cars..i got impatient..
started drivin horribly...
it was so dangerous...yet i was safe
and protected...it's a blessing..that i'm still alive now..

will improve my driving...
must find time and place to do so...will prob do it in school..gain confidence and do it well...

i'm at it again..wahhh..hate myself sometimes..
but...yeah...new target in mind...
but my target has another target...whom he really likes alot....
oh well..actually i think our episode has ended...
but...it has a lasting impression on me....
i'm still living the moment...reality's so hard to accept sometimes....
it's alwiz when u wan something..u can't get it..and u keep pursueing it...

2007-05-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

Seems like i've neglected the world...

mum's birthday today...
almost forgotten...good thing my bro reminded me..
this week was really hectic..i had 3 assignments due in 4 days..
hardly had enough slp..at least now finally i've done my part..

so it's all good...

realised..my life has been revolving around school work so much..i hardly notice anything else....
i've decided one thing..i'll erase whatever memory...and just remember that first day...cos after that..everything just went crazy...the first day was the sweetest and the best..that was what it was meant to be in the first place...just 1 day...

did i tell u...i finally got my driving license?
so far so good...drove alone a couple of times...drove distances a bit...
it's really fun..but somehow ....it's a bit dangerous..esp for someone with no insurance driving a no insurance car....
now is car hunting time...
need to work more...then have more money to afford the fuel and all...
life just keeps pressing on....no time to breathe..no time to turn my head..have to keep looking forward...feel so driven..but driven not by choice...somehow..i dun feel like i have a choice in this...got to study..got to hand in assignments...got to do placements...got to work..got to drive...got to graduate...they all dun seem like a choice....
yet in a sense...it is a choice....

sigh...dunno..sometimes feel really tired...
esp when it comes to ppl to ppl relationships...whether it's friends, family, strangers...
it's alwiz so difficult to decipher....
so hard to keep it just there...
sometimes it seems everything u do is wrong..
sometimes it's just ppl's perception and expectations of u...
sometimes...i just....
dun feel like it...
just can't be bothered really...
i think it's when one's tired...sick of all the shit..
then u'll be like that too....

2007-05-13T19:54:00.000+08:00

Hey ppl...
guess what?! finally got my license! so cool right? finally am licensed to drive...
this weekend was rather thrilling i must say...drove by myself for the first time...
took passengers in the car also for the first time..well in case u're thinkin i own a car...
nope nope i don't! hahaa...it's my friend sheena's car i borrowed over the weekend....

the feeling...it's really quite different ....feel like i'm not that safe in that sense..i don't check as much..which is pretty much a problem right? hahaa...but i guess....really must thank God for the license..and also for the chances to drive..and protecting me on the road all this time...
sigh..but now..wanna find a suitable car...one that is in my price range...dun really wan to take much more from my parents..like shan said...buying a car is throwing money...i believe so..but if it's essential..then what choice do i have?

Was over in sydney the last last weekend...for the 3rd time on the International House trip...can't believe i did the same thing over for like 3 times..the cruise..the tower....just that this time we didn't go to the aquarium...at least this time we managed to check out some of the bars..hahaa and now i know tat syd is really much more happening than it seems....

today....feeling a bit down..tryin not to let it get to me..but well...i just seem to be sinking into it..
why should i be the 受害者..what did i do to deserve this?...
sad truth is...i know why...the ball was in my court..i just didn't know how to play it..and now it's lost...

2007-05-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

Maybe You'll be there - Diana Krall

Each time I see a crowd of people
Just like a fool I stop and stare
It's really not the proper thing to do
But maybe you'll be there

I go out walking after midnight
Along the lonely thoroughfare
It's not the time or place
To look for you
But maybe you'll be there

You said your arms would always hold me
You said you lips were mine alone to kiss
Now after all those things you told me
How COULD it end like this

Someday if all my prayers are answered
I'll hear a footstep on the stair
With anxious heart
I will hurry to the door
And maybe you'll..

Be there ...

~Just love this song..have always loved it...it's one of the 2 earliest songs i've heard from Diana Krall...this one really captured me...and stayed with me all along...never get sick of it....
It's pretty sad...but it's the sad truth...to alwiz be lookin out for someone..knowin that the person is not goin to be there...but yet somewhere inside...just hoping to see the person around..hoping to have that coincedence..that fate...not knowing whether it's good or not to see the person..not knowing how to react, how it's going to be if u guys met face to face...but yet...the heart just doesn't give up...the eyes just refuse to listen...the mind tries to forget...it was a mistake from the start...we all knew that..it was a predictable end...but yet..why does the heart hurt still?

2007-04-22T19:11:00.000+08:00

沙滩
歌手：蔡健雅专辑：陌生人

空无一人这片沙滩
风吹过来冷冷海岸
我轻轻抖落鞋里的沙
看着我的脚印
一个人一步步好寂寞

看海有些绿天有些蓝
那段爱情有些遗憾
像不知不觉游向海天
到最深的地方
才发现你早已经放弃我

我听着海浪
温柔的呼吸
看着云朵飘来飘去
有什么方法
让自己真的忘记

only blue only blue
爱让人好忧郁
我的心我的心蓝蓝地
我真的好想找一条船
能远远离开这片沙滩
每次又回到同样海边
还是会对你想念

想念你有点blue
没有人能像你
留给我的回忆
有点 blue....

2007-04-09T11:55:00.000+08:00

Been pretty down recently....

Been having assignments due every week...and exam last week...really drained, stressed and everything....

Driving lessons haven't been really going so smoothly...really don't understand how come everyone seems to pass theirs so easily...but i seem to have so much trouble just getting the license to...was talking to my dad bout driving the other day...and i just felt so homesick..i just missed him so much...

Social life has been alright...but emotionally i just feel so down...
i don't know how to balance myself...always seem to be pleasing people..so much so that i get hurt myself and i just absorb..sometimes it feel like a 身不由己 situation...i hate it...like i can't decide what i wan to do and is alwiz thinkin how other ppl will feel if i did this or if i did that...
this weekend i disappointed a lot of people...and i disappointed myself too...feel really sorry..but who knows...only i do...

really wish there's someone here that truly understands and supports me through all times...
not wanting to sound pathetic...but i just feel so tired and in a sense lonely i guess...
This weekend..the past just shot in front of my face...i can't say that it didn't affect me..it really did...

these days..just perpetually feel like crying...been tearing...
dunno how to describe...

2007-03-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

歌曲：我真的受伤了
歌手：张学友专辑：热

作词:王菀之作曲:王菀之

窗外阴天了音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了

灯光也暗了音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了

电话响起了你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎麽你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了是你变了

灯光熄灭了音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

真的受伤了...

2007-03-22T20:26:00.000+08:00

lots to do...
can't get started...
no mood to start...
been really distracted...
feeling somewhat dejected..
learnt my lesson...
if given the chance...
i'd handle it a different way...

feel like going sydney...
just spend a weekend traveling..
like just a getaway...
dun really know what i'm thinking...
but for now..no time to go away...
too much work to handle...

i treasure those moments together...
even though short-lived...but i never regretted it..

2007-03-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

i still like this song....

曲：恋人未满
歌手：s.h.e(女朋友) 专辑：女生宿舍

为什么只和你能聊一整夜
为什么才道别就又想再见面
在朋友里面就数你最特别
总让我觉得很亲很贴

为什么你在意谁陪我逛街
为什么你担心谁对我放电
你说你对我比别人多一些
却又不说是多哪一些
友达以上
恋人未满
甜蜜心烦
愉悦混乱
我们以后
会变怎样
我迫不及待想知道答案

再靠近一点点
就让你牵手
再勇敢一点点
我就跟你走
你还等什么
时间已经不多
再下去
只好只做朋友

再向前一点点
我就会点头
再冲动一点点
我就不闪躲
不过三个字
别犹豫这么久
只要你说出口
你就能拥有我

为什么你寂寞只想要我陪
为什么我难过只肯让你安慰
我们心里面
明明都有感觉

为什么不敢面对
为什么你寂寞只想要我陪
为什么我难过只肯让你安慰
我们心里面明明都有感觉
为什么不敢面对

友达以上恋人未满
甜蜜心烦愉悦混乱
我们以后会变怎样
我迫不及待想知道答案

再靠近一点点就让你牵手
再勇敢一点点我就跟你走
你还等什么时间已经不多
再下去只好只做朋友
再向前一点点
我就会点头
再冲动一点点
我就不闪躲
不过三个字
别犹豫这么久
只要你说出口
你就能拥有我

我不相信都动了感情却到不了爱情
那么贴心却进不了心底
你能不能快一点决定
对我说我爱你

2007-03-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

Fun day today!!!

Guess what....
Heee...i just got my hair trimmed and coloured this morning...
heee.....went to civic with Sheena...it was pretty fun..
and we were really excited!! Sheena got red streaks on her hair which looked so super good..
always wanted that colour...but never knew how to get that without bleaching..
hee...prob next time i can try that too!!...

As for me..i got a slight purplish-red colour..
and my hair cut is so cute...i think i look so guai in it..heee..what do u think??

Last night was busy doing my assignment all the way to 5am..
hahaa hao lian man..hahahaa....never stay up so late to finish an assignment before..hahaa
cos i never so last min until today..hahaa cos the date due is today..hahaa...and i wanted to go for the hair cut without thinkin about comin back to do it...and i'm glad i made that decision...
okie..here are the photos..enjoy...

2007-03-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

Seems like...i've not blogged for a long time..

well what have i been doing?
busy procrastinating and living a piggy life of eating every other hour...
how horrible is that...
a lil slpy now...but have to prepare for my presentation tom..
this is the first time i'm really so slack about my work....can't believe myself..
postgrade already..still keep playing...sighz....

life's been...a lil up and down..but i think it's stablising a bit now...
a lot of things to look forward to..a lot of hopes...a lot of uncertainties...

2007-03-02T20:11:00.000+08:00

Happy happy!!!

didn't know how absence can make the heart so fond!

the feeling is indescribable...
everyone should experience this one day!!

Song for today!:

蔡依琳陶喆-今天你要嫁给我

专辑:太美丽

春暖的花开带走冬天的感伤
微风吹来浪漫的气息
每一首情歌忽然充满意义
我就在此刻突然见到你

春暖的花香带走冬天的饥寒
微风吹来意外的爱情
鸟儿的高歌拉近我们距离
我就在此刻突然爱上你

听我说
手牵手跟我一起走
创造幸福的生活
昨天你来不及
明天就会可惜
今天嫁给我好吗

jolin in the house
dt(david tao) in the house
our love in the house

夏日的热情打动春天的懒散
阳光照耀美满的家庭
每一首情歌都会勾起回忆
想当年我是怎么认识你

冬天的忧伤结束秋天的孤单
微风吹来苦辣的思念
鸟儿的高歌唱着不要别离
此刻我多么想要拥抱你

听我说
手牵手跟我一起走
过着安定的生活
昨天你来不及
明天就会可惜
今天你要嫁给我

听我说
手牵手我们一起走
把你一生交给我
昨天不要回头
明天要到白首
今天你要嫁给我

听着礼堂的钟声
我们在上帝和亲友面前见证
这对男女生就要结为夫妻
不要忘了这一切是多么的神圣
你愿意生死苦乐永远和她在一起
爱惜她尊重她
安慰她保护着她
两人同时建立起美满的家庭
你愿意这样做吗
yes i do!

听我说
手牵手一路到尽头
把你一生交给我
昨天已是过去
明天更多回忆
今天你要嫁给我

and conclusion for today...i'm such a softee...

2007-03-01T20:20:00.000+08:00

I'm in Love!!!

haha i'm sure everyone's going to be...awww again? who now?
haahahahaa....not telling...hee..or at least not yet....

i realised...patience is a quality that's the most unbearable...
but yet..patience is the most important in a lot of things...
Without patience, we'll rush into things that we regret,
Without patience, we'll say things that we don't exactly mean..
i realised...there's a difference in being patient, and being tolerant....
i choose to believe i'm being patient now...
though unbearable...

i guess...it's really about understanding what's going on..

Will update more next time!
Crunchin time, assignments due in less than 2 wks...
feelin really gan cheong!

2007-02-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

其实很爱你
演唱:张韵涵
张韶涵-其实很爱你

离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你

现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下

感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都
会有一段伤痕

像白纸的天真
仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由挽留

i think...i'll not like him..

2007-02-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

Hello...

been wondering where i've been?
no where...just in Canberra...
for the last few days been traveling with my dad..and finally now i have a stable internet..
back in my room in IH...

seems like i have a lot of things to do..a lot of ppl to update on how i am...sorry guys..give me sometime...yup..

I think.....
i like someone....
not tellin who...
but...i think so...

why is it? when u like someone..u tend to shy from the person?
Wish i could talk to him a bit more..
but yet..didn't know what to say...
he looked a little depressed today...
don't know why...

what happened today?
nothing much...had a great time at church today....
met everyone whom i've not seen in months..it was a really great reunion...
then later...we went to Eddison Park to have a picnic...
it was super...food was good...company was great...

Dinner was super too!
Finally met up with Sean and Ezrin..
it was a simple..and yummy dinner...
managed to catch up..and also chat a bit bout our future...

Talkin bout future...
guess it's time to start thinking bout it...
soon...i'll have to make a life changing decision...
it's going to be BIG..
yeah..but probably cos it's too BIG that..i just dun really want to think about it...

Been pretty confused recently...

Thanks for listening..

2007-02-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

In the hotel room now...
checking up what songs i wanna download before i have to start payin bout 3 bucks a song in campus...hehee...really love free unlimited wireless internet..hee...then then...a song name just caught my attention...

"歌曲：该忘了你对不对"

dunno why..just feel like putting this up...hahaa...haven't even heard the song man..haha but i just like the name...no special meanings..haha everyone calm down yeah? hahahaa....okiez..here's the lyrics...

歌曲：该忘了你对不对
歌手：周蕙专辑：转角*遇到爱电视原

大雨过后的眼泪
挂在充满回忆的橱窗
我却不想忘以往
那些心碎的心创

记忆是一个行囊
陪伴着我到世界流浪
我让悲伤都装上翅膀
再见了就不能倔强

该忘了你对不对
怕自己无法面对
无怨无悔
把一切留给纪念
受过沉默的创伤
它会慢慢被岁月
一片片填满
渐渐就习惯不再想
忘记曾经最痛的地方

该忘了你对不对
我应该坚强面对
学会遗忘
不能像爱的挣扎
记忆会为我收藏
那些美丽时光
为爱付出过的力量
带着爱去寻找
幸福的希望

after reading the lyrics...i think the song has pretty deep feelings..and meanings to it...
after some consideration....nope nope...this song is not suitable on me..hahahaa.....cos i dun think i've such deep feelings to anyone as of yet...haha...so nahp nahp...hahahaa...

2007-02-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

Today...

Happy happy..went to wala wala with kevin and sandy...
what started off as a normal night out..became a crazy night out...
we should have more of these really...hahhaa....excited!

Having left 2 days before i go..
really a bit sad to leave...
i'll miss my dear ol' oldie..guess she doesn't know how much she's helped me move on..
i admire her patience and really wished i cld be here to spend more time with her...
i figure..we could really become very good friends...
sigh..but i also guess she doesn't know how misleading she can be sometimes..

life's complicated..
when u're vulnerable, everythin seems believable...
the first rope u can grab..u just hold on to it tight..
then later, u'll just realise that u're holding on to a rope without a firm hook supporting it..
then later, u'll just learn to let go..and then u'll find another rope..
it's such a cycle...a lil morbid, a lil cynical...

2007-02-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

Result of my driving test..

well i failed again..really disappointed and sad...
cos i spent a lot on it and yet failed again...hate it..but it's the truth..
it's alright..i guess mb i just didn't deserve to pass....
but i won't let it go..i want the license...i'll continue to pursue it in aust...yup yup..i will....

Yesterday was sam's wedding..it's like...so super sweet..to see my childhood friend..
the boy i've known all my life get married...haha..really sweet...
it was a simple yet meaningful wedding...
managed to catch up with so many people that i've not met in years...really happy to see everyone getting on soooo well.....

Going back canberra this friday....i'm going to miss Singapore...my friends...family...

Wedding photos...pls enjoy!

2007-02-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

Mixed feelings..

Going to go..yet 依依不舍..
Looking forward..yet 力不从心..
Ready to let go..yet 头不对心..

Why is it 心跳还是会加速。。

明明懂。。却不想懂。。
不要想。。却不能不想。。
想念却说不出口。。
想见却没理由。。

These days...started missing Oldie already...wonder what she's doing..how she is..is she really happy? Happy to have gotten to know a new friend..

Driving test tom...

歌曲：解脱
歌手：张惠妹专辑：灵感

爱是不夜城
回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾
我越感觉有点冷

变了心的人
越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨
阳光替房间开了灯

想。。若结局一样
又何苦再想
伤。。若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我

2007-01-26T01:54:00.000+08:00

Hey yo! what's up what's up?!!

Ever wondering how come i'm updating my blog so often nowadays...
well u're right to say that i'm just TOO free...
hahha no lah..just that i am enjoyin this time where i can just spend time alone..and enjoy my space...

Today, i just watched a lovely romantic movie called "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"....
it's really sweet...kind of like the way the show goes about a pair of lovers who can't decide whether to officially be together or not..and so for the whole show..they just go on being together..yet unofficially together...However...their love for each other never falters..and even till the guy's death..he still makes sure she's hopeful and happy..(it's like how deep can one's love be..) Truly touching..

This show really reminds me of the various insecurities of life..and also the insecurities of love..Actually come to think of it...i think insecurity really plays a big part in a relationship's failure..think bout it..if ur partner is too good-lookin and attractive to other ppl(i.e Louis Koo)..then u'll start to doubt urself..and no matter how much ur partner reassures u...u're never satisfied..and it just accumulates... another example would be a relationship that u cannot see a future in..that u know in the long run..it may not work out...then insecurity sets in..and the rs is just doubted over and over..i guess anyone who's ever been in love would be able to easily tune to the show...

oh yes..i realised something..my lil terapin has really grown up!..been about 5 yrs plus now..and look how much he's grown...

2007-01-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

happy and relieved!
me making my last attempt to save a friendship...i'm hopeful!
i love ppl...love friends...
thanks MZ and Addie for supporting me all these months since i came back...
i'm so going to miss u guys...already missing u now as i'm typing this...

today..had some good news...mb i'll be only going over for 1 yr before coming back to work...
somehow...now...do have the urge of coming back to home ground...but i guess at the moment it's cos i'm more tied down by my emotions than rationally thinkin about my future...whatever it is...i'm positive!

Tired..signing off now!! Good nite my darlings...

2007-01-23T08:54:00.000+08:00

Recently been a bit confused and not as steady as ever...
i have no idea..but somehow feel like my brain has been clogged for some reason..
and i can't seem to think rationally..and end up doin all the silly things i do..
worse part is...it's alwayz after i do the action..then only do i realised what trouble i've caused..
and then regret...to which..by then..the trouble had already started..and now i'm facing the situation of saving it...

I really do apologise at times like that...
how i do wake ppl up while they are slpin..
and just hound ppl to talk to me...

guess i've alwayz been a pretty verbal person...
and so my best method of comfort...
should be talking..
somehow always feel better after a good chat with friends..
Thanks my lovely budz that have been patiently listening and talking to me..
Feel so loved everytime i hear a response from u..
what can i say...i'm an ATTENTION SEEKER....heehee....

2007-01-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

Life is so miraculously crazy...

Today's one fine example!
How one of my impulse actions led to someone msging me this afternoon...
2 strangers, who've never officially been introduced, yet know that bit about each other...
the feeling is so intriguing yet interesting..
unexplainable..indescribable...
guess people are just all made curious about things...

on one hand happy to have directly communicated with that person..
yet on the other...sad that i was persuaded or adviced on something which i felt surprising to hear from someone who hardly really knows me...
Funny how i didn't hear it from ONE that i should be hearing it from...

How generous can one be with their love? How much will u be willing to give in to- to see the one u love happy? Happy...can we all really be that happy with the way life is?

Sexiest Song Ever...(oh so charmed)
曲：迷迭香
歌手：周杰伦专辑：依然范特西

你的嘴角
微微上翘
性感地无可救药

想象不到
如此心跳
你的一切都想要

开心的意料
神圣的祈祷
我将给你的信号
已陪你装出个吊
这里最不可缺就是人呢
你想起
给拥抱

烛火在燃烧
用梦中轻佻眼神
试瞧了几秒
关于你的舞蹈
你慵懒的扭动肢腰
受不了

你随风飘扬的笑
有迷迭香的味道
离开薄荷味的撒娇
对我发出恋爱的讯号

你优雅地像一只猫
动作轻盈地围绕
爱的甜味蔓延发酵
暧昧爱的刚好

开心的意料
神圣的祈祷
我将给你的信号
已陪你装出个吊
这里最不可缺就是人呢
你想起
给拥抱

烛火在燃烧
用梦中轻佻眼神
试瞧了几秒
关于你的舞蹈
你慵懒的扭动肢腰
受不了

你随风飘扬的笑
有迷迭香的味道
离开薄荷味的撒娇
对我发出恋爱的讯号

你优雅地像一只猫
动作轻盈地围绕
爱的甜味蔓延发酵
暧昧爱的刚好

你的嘴角微微上翘
性感地无可救药想象不到如此心跳
你的一切都想要..
预兆气氛微妙
因为爱你我挣倒
预兆气氛微妙
因为爱你我挣倒

2007-01-21T04:02:00.000+08:00

i have a confession to make....

honestly...i think Jay Chou's really cute in the MTV for 迷失香..
and i'm so throughly taken over everytime i see that MTV...
and the song...is so....HYPNOTISING...

before u say i'm ‘花痴’(honestly dunno if this is the correct wording)...
pls do go check out the song and mtv...
ooh so the mesmerising...

today...i find life such a joke...
there's always these times when i'll find that time plays a trick on me...
when there's always missed moments...
or moments that u can predict will be missed moments...
why am i so 嬗变..dunno..can't explain...
hahhaa...but at least i get to laugh at myself at the end of the day..
cheer myself up...
i think i'm a bit psychotic...
or maybe..just a true gemini with two sides to one face...

2007-01-18T02:33:00.000+08:00

These days....
Been a bit upset...
having some problems at home and as well as having issues with myself...

Sometimes i really think it's so hard even just being a person...
Or i would say...it's easy being a person that doesn't care about the world or anything...
but it's hard being a person that cares for the people around them...

My bro just came in to remind me of my value systems..guess i was really not a good niece as i didn't go to visit my uncle when he was in the hospital...dunno why i didn't go...but at that point..i know that...i just didn't feel like it...sometimes..i guess...we can't just do what we feel like..but we have to do what we are required to do...for the sake of everyone...

sigh..life's really vicious in an aspect...that is...if u dun turn up..or u offend someone...that person or the person's family can just remember u for life for that one thing...and your relationship with that person or the family can just become torn...and this might not just mean only u..but sometimes the others around u can also be dragged down by ur actions..

Why are relationships such fragile matters? Any sort of relationship, whether friendships or family ties...as long as it's a connection between 2 ppl..it can be easily torn, easily stretched just by a single expression....

Why so pessimistic? i don't know..these days..it's just that i can't seem to tune myself..i can't seem to get right with everyone...it results with me not satisfying myself...esp when i see ppl around me being disappointed...being hurt..it just troubles me.. esp when i'm the one that caused it...and it seems the more i try to save the situation..it just becomes worse...feeling lost at this point..

2007-01-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

Hey everyone!!!

Yup it's time...
Going off in nearly a couple of weeks time...
Really going to miss everyone....
Even though i've been here for already 6 mths..but yet i didn't get to catch up with a lot of ppl..
truly apologetic! I'm sorry....

oh yes yes...please do call me and tell me when u're free..then we can meet up before i go back!!

Well, these days...i've been busy with preparing to go over...
things have not been workin out that well...but i'm sure..i have hope..that it'll be all good...
these days...also been thinking about how terrible a friend i've been to a lot of ppl...
dun really know how to improve to be a better person...
maybe i'm just lazy...

2007-01-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

sigh...

is it the more u can't get something, the more u'll actually crave and want it?

these days...been asking myself that...
why i keep having strong feelings about what i can't have...
or what i want but can't have...

these days...preparing for my trip back to canberra...
can be abit pressurizing and scary...
feel bit scared to face the future...
yet...i know there's no turning back..and only moving forward...

many ppl i know will be leaving me next sem...
many ppl i know have already went back to where they came from...
and i'll be going back to a place where strangers dominate my circle...
even though my future seems so nicely set out...
yet...the journey to that future...seems so uncertain...so shaky...
must hold myself firm...must push on..must not be waivered...
whatever happens..happens for a reason...and it's for me to learn how to cope with it...
Sometimes i do wonder...why must i keep pushing myself to be so strong...
is there ever a time where i can just be vulnerable..where i can just keep in my lil comfy spot...
to enjoy the moment...

2007-01-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

Hello Dearest Readers!!

Happy New Year!!...What a lovely New Year i had....

Sorry i haven't blogged for the longest time...so what have i been busy with...
well what else but work...hahaha
but i'm also happy to announce that....i'm finally back to Bu WU ZHENG YE status...
sighz..hahahaa after 3 mths of work i gave up...
but not cos i was super unhappy with it...but just that i have to prepare to further study back in Canberra...

Speaking of which...i hope to be going back to canberra next month...i believe everything will fall in place..and it'll be all good....got to work hard now...for the next 2 yrs...going to be tough..but i'm sure i'll make it...

Just last week...Miki came over to Singapore for a visit...for only 4 days...
but i'm so glad she came over...can't believe we haven't met for a year already...and only now then we meet..but only for 4 days...it's so hard...japan's really too costly for me to go over...if not...i'll fly over as regularly as i can i guess....
anyway...didn't know that there were actually so many places in Singapore for tourist to go look see...haha 4 days was hardly enough...didn't even have time to go shopping...but i'm happy that at least we met most of our mutual friends here...and that she had a taste of the original Singapore Sling from Long Bar at Raffles hotel...it was SUPER...

And just today..i returned from a short holiday in Malacca...it was SUPER too!! so much to eat...
we ate things that...well Singapore didn't really have...so it was goody and yummy...and we bought lots of stuff back too!!...hee since i won't be able to celebrate CNY here...not even VDAY...i guess the best would be that i could at least eat the CNY biscuits in advance...ooh my fave pineapple tarts and kueh bangkit...FAVOURITE!!

2006-12-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

heya guys!! back and refreshed..hahaa not really lah...
alot of things to think about now...
for those wondering if i'm going back to Aust...well..i'm most probably going back..
really hope to find a place to stay...hahaa besides ressies lah...

here's some pics for u to enjoy...it's us at the DANCEARTS 19th Recital...exciting...

more photos to come up..but have to wait..hahaa..

2006-11-03T00:38:00.001+08:00

oh just wanna share this 2 songs which i heard on the radio..they're really sweet..
and yes...u'll definitely hear me singing them in ktv soon..hahaha still in the process of learning the tunes..hahaa

听说爱情回来过
原唱:林忆莲
选自林忆莲柔情精逊

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾回来过
想请他替我向你问候
只为了怕见了说不出口
你对以往的感触还多不多
曾让我心碎的你
我依然深爱着

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾找过我
我要他帮我对你隐瞒
只是怕见了面会更难过
我对以往的感触还那么多
曾给我幸福的你
我依然深爱着

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中
这一种想见不能见的伤痛
让我对你的思念越来越浓
我却只能把你把你放在我心中

对你的声音你的影你的手
我发誓说我没有忘记过
而关于你选择了现在的他
我只能说我有些难过
我也真心真意的等过

歌曲：i think i
歌手：范玮琪专辑：我们的纪念日

一天过一天
从不确定变成了答案

就像这样
停留在只有你去的方向

每当你出现我身旁
就感觉爱情的重量

我越在意越难衡量
就越放不下
越不去想就越是他

i think i love you~
爱就是这样
cause i miss you～
喜欢你善良陪你去逛逛
会偶尔吵架
吵累了说贴心的话

i'm falling for you～
爱就是这样
now i need you
想等你放假
要一起分享今晚的星光
当你说要守护幸福
不打烊～

我们越看就像
不说也能聊解对方
画同一张图画
想同一个梦想

幸福是一座大灯塔
少了你世界就找不了
你一定会再给我力量
其实爱我并不复杂

真心的对话
就能够往幸福出发
爱时常让两个人受伤
爱也总让两个人更坚强
我们不会知道
以后的日子会有多长
在我的世界
都会有你守护肩膀

i like the 2nd song in particular...cos it's really sooo sweet...

2006-11-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

2006-10-29T23:29:00.001+08:00

Friends...
are the best things God has created for us...

i really mean it...my weekend could have never been soooo nice without u guys...
work has been pretty tiring and uncertainly busy for me...
but i guess work is not meant to be smooth all the time yah..meant to be a challenge to nurture us..

well..so what did i do this weekend that made me soooo happy...
well ...it all started with Saturday night...haha after some last min arrangements...me and kevin finally met up to watch movie..hahaha it was soooo crazy...dun watch DOA...it was soooo cheesy i can't believe it...hahaa...well after the movie...we had supper at NYDC...mud cake and spud-niks..hahhaa super duper yummy...it was soooo good that kevin felt like puking...and did eventually...after that...it was cab rides everywhere man...from orchard to holland village to clarke quay...all for the sake of finding somewhere to chill out and drink..hahaha and our hunt landed us in indochine which had more of the expatriate crowd...it was alright..we had cocktails...it was sweet...but by then everyone was either in the middle of a pash...or crazily drunk..hahaa...and since it was halloween night at mos...the place was still rather crowded...with all the creepy costumed ppl..haha it was rather fun!

Sunday....heee...today was soooo cool...got to wake up late....take my time to make up...
and then met Sandy at Bugis...retail therapy always works..hahaha we walked and shopped....ooooh soooo missed shopping...then dinner was hot pot steamboat....soooo super yummy...love it!! happy happy...

okiez....tom's going to be another start of a busy week....

2006-10-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

feel so STUFFED UP!!!

i wanna go clubbing...i need to club...
need to dance it away...drink the nice tequila shots that add the instant punch...

that's all i feel like doing now..
i just wanna let it all out...

miss those days of weekly clubbing..

since i came back...i've only gone clubbin...once? i think once...
but ever since workin...i hardly have the energy to...just feel soooo tired...
but now..i think i've just accumulated too much qi...
i need to let out my craziness...
before i go crazy...

dunno why...but since this song came out...i've always liked it... share with u...

萧亚轩-吻

如果时间能把我们的思念稀释了
从此以后互不相干各自爱着别的人
只要不遇见忽然下雨的清晨
在起床的时候会莫名的失神

说好决定要努力忘了啊
为何还有泪停在脸角
你身边是否还是那个她
取代我在你醒来吻你吗
取代我在你睡前吻你吗

如果当时我们都能够勇敢的承认
因为太在乎对方所以才倔强的等待着
后来每个失眠的午夜时分
还不愿意后悔却忍不住会问
那段流着眼泪寻找解答的日子已过去了
只是没想到爱情要我们付出漫长想念代价

thanks to brilliant slamming and sound counselling from Celine Lim...
i've finally untwisted my brain...hahaa...
i'm worse than i think am...i think sometimes i really enjoy being directly told how bad i am..
how horrible is that already...

hey...i didn't 抽 in the end ok...hahaa
so we both no need to have mass family 'bao tou' sessions..
hahaha but that'll just be sooo funny lah...
but i think i'm in the losing end...u got too many 把柄 already...

2006-10-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

forgot to blog about my working life..

well currently i'm running between vivocity and bukit timah plaza...
hahhaa it's been pretty busy...and on full shift a lot of days...
so basically my life now is work work and on my rest day...which i hope is a weekend...try to catch up with ppl i haven't met in a long while...and with family...

so dear friends...pls try to contact me whenever u're free...
then i can try my best to spend time with u...
always believe friends are forever...if we all make the effort to keep in contact..and break the first icy barrier of long-time-no-see...

okiez..cheers..

2006-10-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

萧亚轩-他和她的故事
词:吴宣贝曲:小冷

他说他很爱她他说会守护她
他送她玫瑰花一切美得不像话
从朋友变成情人她不再只有自己
他爱他爱得彻底真心溢满了甜蜜
时间看清一个人开始令人昏沉沉
他像变了一个人太蛮横

她开始悬著疑问不想再等他承认
不再要任何伤痕
谁爱谁谁又流乾了眼泪
谁后悔难分难舍太伤悲
他爱谁谁应该止住眼泪
她心碎谁又该乾脆离开
谁爱谁谁又能反反覆覆
谁后悔谁在忍受著孤独
谁了解他退出她孤独
谁了解谁退出谁孤独
爱得太盲目
谁不满足

好沮丧。。。真的！。。

现在的我。。不是想出局。。但是。。在你的心中。。在你的脑海里。。
根本都没有我的存在。。也没有地方给我站。。你也忘记了我们的以前。。忘了我的好处。。

现在的你。。有了很多有意气。。友善的亲密朋友。。他们都在你背后鼓励和安慰你。。

我不请楚自己。。

2006-10-23T22:19:00.000+08:00

只是很想快点走过这难受的过程。。也跟你一样。。往着别的方向往前走。。

歌曲：接受
歌手：梁静茹

仿佛想你一分钟
你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
很多的歌到底是什么内容

仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔差点失控
回忆在愿里遗留的恨说
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我多
觉得心言不由衷

我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走

爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久

仿佛已经自由
下一个我变成风
吹过你的脸孔差点失控
回忆在愿里遗留的恨说
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我多

我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走

爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久

我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走

爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些人都
能记得多久

2006-10-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

i'm in love...
guess who i've fallen in love with...

haha before ur brains go nuts...hahhaa
i shall reveal it..

i'm in love with...Wang Lee Hom...'s song....kiss goodbye...
it's on my repeat mode...i can't stop playin it...
thanks to my ktv sessions with friends...i've heard it in ktv twice and finally got the song into my phone by bluetooth...it's soooo BEAUTIFUL...love hearing it via ear phones...it feels and sounds like lee hom's singing it right into my ears...so charming and warm...

i just thought of a new attribute that i'd like my future bf to have...
mind u..haha i thought about this in the bus, while hearing this song...
i'd like him to be able to sing in tune..best if can sing well...and sing to me...
sing into my ears when we're alone...so sweet and nice...so romantic..hahaa...

just look at the words...

王力宏 - Kiss Goodbye
詞/曲：王力宏

Baby不要再哭泣
这一幕多么熟悉
紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静
给我一分钟专心好好欣赏你的美

幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
还欠你的我不能给
别把我心也带走去跟随~

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔痛苦难以释怀
每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you Goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
但欠你的我不能给
我才明白爱最真实的滋味

Lovely guy, with a lovely talent for writing music and lyrics...
in terms of voice..well he's not really the best...but it's good enough...

2006-10-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

happy happy...

just painted my nails with my newly bought polish from "skinfood"..
i totally recommend this brand to everyone...
it's easy to apply and the polish is smooth and shiny...
i bought this dark pinkish shimmer polish..and it really looks so pretty...really suits me well..
preparing myself to invest in another bottle soon...
with my next pay check...

work has been alright for me...
going to move out of novena square now...
this coming week i'll be at bukit timah for the moment...
then subsequently fixed at vivocity when it's done...
really excited...everyday i've been learning more about nutrition..
guess it's really become my interest...
just bought this thick reference book-like book..hahaha...from borders...and going to attempt to start flippin and reading it soon..hahaha....

this morning...i dreamt a really unexpected...but cute dream..hahaa
i almost didn't know that i was dreaming till i opened my eyes and realise it..haha...it was pretty pleasant i would guess...
but don't know if it'll actually mean anything in the future..hahaa

sometimes i really wonder...
do dreams really come true?
are dreams God's way of talking to me?

2006-10-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

some photos...
hee me and my mum...AFTER my cousin's wedding dinner...

haha...it was really good...hahaa...was suppose to look out for some cute docs at my cousin's dinner..hahaa but didn't really managed to find one that was desirable...but but but...doesn't mean that i didn't have my eyes on anyone..haha i tot the best man looked so gentlemanly...heehee...but i didn't even get to know his name!! sighz...if it's meant to be...we'll meet somewhere again..haha and this time..i'll sure get ur name...hahaha....

work for me has been pretty alright...
even though i still do not know a lot about the various products...
i'm glad that i can at least get some facts out...
i think my brain is over saturated....
hahhaa...

2006-10-03T12:05:00.000+08:00

life...
for me...has been a rolling wave the last week...
it was not tooo good...but i'm glad that this week started out great...i'm optimistic...

after the operational part of my training...we're finally coming to product knowledge...it's my most favourite part of training...haha i guess it's my interest in the first place...my reason for wanting to even work there..

thanks to Mingzi and Yingzhi...i've got to know this lovely song...

05.天天夜夜

how do i live without you
i want to know
how do i breathe without you
if you ever go
how do i ever
ever survive
how do i how do i
oh how do i live

当你的手还握在我手中
没有一次
我还停留
说不出口的感动
当你的手还握在我手中
灿烂的笑容
不论过多久
都让我心动

每一天在你的怀里等待
每一次我感觉你的存在
不能重来
不愿离开
是永远都灿烂的爱

每一天在你的梦里等待
每一次我感觉你的存在
so how do i live
how do i live
how do i live
without you

当你的手还握在我手中
没有一次
我还放手
没有一次
停留
当你的手还握在我手中
灿烂的笑容
不论过多久
都让我心动

oh tell me now

how do i live without you
how do i breathe without yo

2006-09-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

life has been really busy for me...
hardly have time for myself...
really stressed up...mentally..
but i will push on..cos it's too early to give up..can't be such a softie..haha
too much to learn...

just wanna share this song with u....really sweet

11.我最爱的人

什么让人傍徨
让人慌张
我不怕
因为有你的爱
在我的心中荡漾

新的行装
放在手上
放逐他
我靠在你身旁
将眼泪都释放

也曾跌跌撞撞
也曾受伤
你的温暖是一扇窗
像天空都降下了希望

i fall in love
我最爱的人
在这个黎明时分
你给的吻
它洗清所有的泪痕
我的灵魂

i fall in love
我最爱的人
一辈子不要转身
你的认真
它抚平所有的伤痕
cause i really fall in love

2006-09-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

sorry...haven't been bloggin for a long time

well...in a way..just been lazy and tired to blog...haha

but yes yes...recent update..well..
haha i've just started working today....
not too bad...a lot of things to learn...but i'm excited...cos it's all the stuff that i'm interested in...
for once i can feel a kind of passion for working..hahaa....

2006-09-20T19:37:00.000+08:00

heya everyone!

happy happy...just went for 2 job interviews this week...
it wasn't too bad...
but at least the chance of working is higher now..haha
even though the pay isn't high..
and the hours are long...
but some things...can't be helped...

been catchin korean serials like crazy...
haha not i too free...
but they're so nice to watch..u know u know..
hahaha...

2006-09-17T01:39:00.000+08:00

sorry for not updating for so long...
been busy with...chasing serials...meetin up with friends...doing my driving course...and finding jobs pretty much...

saddened...
saddened by a friend whom i cherished dearly...only to be treated with coldness...
i wished we could be friends..just like we were before...talk about anything..
joke..and have fun..meet up...watch movies..have a cuppa...nice meals...really enjoyed the company and friendship....but everything spoiled in just a second..was it me? did i make u angry? did i make u go on the defensive? i'm sorry if i did...didn't mean it that way..didn't mean it to be how it is now...

2006-09-07T00:07:00.001+08:00

these days...

been feeling a bit down...
no it's not the time of the month..
but i'm living in personal uncertainties again...
what job, what to do, what i want to do..what God wants me to do....
life...too many choices...
me...too fickle...too indecisive...
sometimes i really wish i had someone to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it...
or at least someone to decide for me...just hold my hand and bring me through this phase...

Yes, i do know that God has his plans for me, that he has big plans for me...
and i should heed and confide in Him, and trust that He will bring me through all these, be the one to hold my hand and give me strength...

i do believe, i have faith...

i dunno...feel like i'm so contradictory...as much as i believe, i'm just tired of hoping and waiting and tryin to make myself move on..think bout other stuff...understand that it's not time...

i miss canberra in a sense...miss the chats and freedom in a sense...
even though coming back...should make me feel more at home...in a cosier more warm environment...i realised somethings just don't change....the touch of loneliness..

haven't talked to someone for a couple of days now...missing that someone...
but someone's not online...i would think of the person as...my sanity, my sound mind, my comforter and encourager....whenever i talk to that person..i'm always brought back to where i'm suppose to be...always bringin me back to where i should be focusing...what saddens me is...why do i feel so much for the person? Silly me knows that the wind is blowing in only one direction...or at least that's how it seems at the moment...but yet i can't stop the feeling..keep wishin and hoping that this someone..may someday pick me up from the tracks...bring me into the train..and let me tag along to journey's end...

don't ask me who...some may know..some may guess...but i may not tell..

2006-09-05T11:41:00.000+08:00

hmmm...these days..been running errands...
spending loads of money and waiting for interview..

now i'm thinkin if i really want to work or not..
like i want to work..but there's like so many things i want to do also...

Well....here's an update...
on my current fave song..hahaha...
i've alwiz loved tanya's music and style...
any guesses? Yup yup..it's tanya's BEAUTIFUL LOVE ..
i really believe it is....
whether to be in love...or to love someone...it's alwayz so beautiful...
cos love encompasses everything...

歌曲:beautiful love
歌手:蔡健雅
专辑:t-time 新歌+精选

看住时间别让它再流浪
从前我太适应悲伤
你的出现在无意中
却深深撼动我
一起走着没说什么心是满足的

这个世界随时都要崩塌
我没有其它的愿望
假如明天将消失了
趁现在我爱着
只想记得被你抱着温热的感受

love's beautiful
so beautiful
我失去过更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手不要放手永远守护我

love's beautiful
so beautiful
我很快乐你会了解我
我不会再哭泣是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着每秒钟都能证明一生的美丽

2006-09-03T01:02:00.000+08:00

tired...

today i've been walkin on and on from noon to night...
but it was wonderfully fruitful and i enjoyed myself thoroughly...

met up with Willie this afternoon ...
didn't know what to do...checked the movie times and shows...but nothing seemed interesting...
end up..we went to play bowling at the marina square bowling place...superbowl i think...
well...it was so super fun...cos i haven't bowled in ages...and as usual...
i suck at it...hahaa...
my first game i had a measly 61 points...
and the second one...i improved by 3 points..making it 64...oh well...hahaha...but bowling's never really been my thing...leisurely..i think still ok..hahaha at least i had fun....
Willie's so much better...the second game he had 146 points...sighz..hahaha i'm so far behind..hee...
after bowling..we went to 1 fulleton to get his pants then after we went on to lavender for lunch...
ooooh..it was so nice...we had the best wanton mee! and cai tao gui..and popiah...oooo all my favourite!! hahahahaa...
then after...we had a nice walk to bugis...where we went to this cake making shop..that sold all sorts of cake making stuff from tiramisu compound to yoghurt making kits...super a lot of things...inspired ya.....then after..we had a nice chat at BK to rest our legs...and off we went on our way....

in the evening...i met up with Naajia, Yvonne, Yuli, Mingzi and Polly...how everyone has grown much prettier...it was such a nice reunion...got a chance to catch up, chill out...eat nice cakes and desserts...beautiful!!

2006-08-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

what do you do...when u've been home the whole day...and all u wanna do is go out...
but you don't know where to go...

at present moment...i'm just feeling like that...super moody...been home the whole day...
i wanna go out...but i don't know where i can go...suppose to meet up with frens this week...but always have something on in the end...and end up appointments get cancelled and all..leaving me with even more time to stay at home...

after a while..i just get so sian of watchin serials and finding jobs...

do u ever get the feeling that...u dun really have anyone u wanna meet or go out with...
just wan to be alone for a while..but not at home?

sigh...was lookin forward to having dinner with my parents today...
thought it was nice..since we've not tried the downstairs new food stall, and i haven't really been home for dinner...but well...as disappointed as i can be....mum came home in a rush to finish a test she had to do on the comp...leavin my dad with no dinner...and me too...no dinner...then i thought that after she did the test..we cld go out...to my further disappointment..mum said she doesn't want to eat...then she just laid there and on the tv...then my dad was next to me...then i ask him if we were going out to eat then....but he just sat there and watched sg idol..sighz...it's so late already..it's 9 plus...don't feel like eating anymore...or at least don't feel like eating with them..wish my bro was home..then we cld just go out...

just so moody and grumpy...which parent doesn't think whether their child is hungry or taken care of? i wait for them, end up, no dinner to eat..tot of spendin time with em...but now to disappointed and pissed and wished i was outside....

sigh...tom will be a better day...at least have dance to look forward to..

2006-08-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Heya!
update time!

not much to update...
hahaha i'm still unemployed..
yet to find a job...
as for settling down...
bit not settled...
started driving for 2 weeks already..things have been going well...
been driving pretty smoothly..but really have to coordinate properly...
but i'm optimistic...i'm sure that after a few more lessons..it'll come naturally...
as for church...well i'm pretty settled at frankel...
but well..bible study is on saturdays...
tennis is on saturdays...how?...
dunno...really hoping i can do alternate weeks or something...
really glad to see everyone back home..
really thankful for friends and family...
really happy that i can reunite with my bestest buddies from SC times..haha...
to think we've already known each other for like nearly 10 yrs..bout there...it's soooo cool!!

ooooh...pain pain...naughty me...for the sake of looking better...
wore my heels for the whole night...
and ended up with 3 blisters...and sore feet...
but i truly enjoyed myself...heehee..
shan shan...i'm sure u did too right?
just that..the exotic dance was a bit of a disappointment...

oh yes..and we celebrated trish's bday last saturday! it was sooo nice and sweet!!
also met up with Shai and Willie last saturday!!...double bliss...haven't seen them in more than a yr...it's sooo good to meet up with ol' pals again...and feel the warm fuzzy feeling again!!

2006-08-20T02:18:00.000+08:00

lovely housemates!!

Been a week plus since i've come back to singapore...

well...
the weather is killing me ...i'm still not used to the warm humid weather...
so much so that i'm perpetually sweating all the time...
sighz...my face is also breakin out...can't get it back nicely...
recently been slping at 2 plus no matter what...

well..what have i been busy with recently?
well...quite a lot of stuff...
been finishin up my application for my postgraduate studies...(really want to finish up studying)
..been takin up driving again...
and well...applying for jobs...
hahaha but been really lazy too...

yes yes..not too forget...also meeting up with my bestest buddies and friends...
loving life...
life with friends and family...
it's SUPER!

today just met up with Shai and Willie...
it's been such a long time..nearly 2 yrs since i last saw them..
yet when we meet up..we can still crack up jokes...go nuts...it's soooo fun...so lovely...
yes yes...definitely we must go suntaning!! love the sun...love the sand..love the beach...!

Also..it's trish's birthday today! really glad we could celebrate it with her...
haven't seen her in such a long while too....

lovely...simply lovely!

2006-08-17T00:40:00.001+08:00

PHOTO TIME!!
here are some photos from my graduation to my hoildays..
enjoy!

Cockington Green(Canberra) and Yering Station (Yarra Valley Melbourne)

Soda Pop (Toorak Rd- Melbourne) and Max Brenner, Brighton Beach and a Korean Dinner in Melbourne City

2006-08-12T02:06:00.000+08:00

我喜欢回味。。记忆的美。。让人懂得感谢。。

你现在让谁。。听你喜悦。。陪你掉眼泪。。

你现在让谁吻你的脸。。疼你的一切。。

请你许个愿~让爱情不再那么容易变。。
让心不被距离拉得太遥远。。

haha was hearing some sappy songs..
and took out some lyrics from the song 许愿..
found it really sweet..

2006-08-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

WOooooooo...

Finally back in Singapore after such a looongg holiday..
but it was really fun...
We covered almost the whole eastern coast...
graduation was beautiful...
was so nervous cos like the whole hall was so quiet..and like i was walking alone down the stage..haha but it was an experience..really nice...
As for how do i feel now that i have graduated? Well i feel that it isn't over for me yet and i hope to further my studies soon..heez...

So i have been on a holiday for like 2 weeks...
in this 2 weeks...there was a hell lot of driving..but it was really good..
cos with each stretch of road...there was a different view to it...

From Melb to Canberra...it was like a 9 hr drive straight..There was a detour at Albury..which made us drive into the night..on steep windy slopes..in the middle of valleys and hills...

From Canberra to Sydney..Well..it was more of meadows and pastures..

From Sydney to a town called Kempsey...well Kempsey was our stop over..it was a lil quiet town...which had nothing much open at 6 something in the evening except restaurants and fast food places...This drive...we went through the Pacific Highway..which went through quite a lot of valleys and windy roads...the view is amazing..as we see the river flowing under us as we drive on the bridge..

From Kempsey to Surfer's Paradise was nice..we past by the BIG BANANA...and lots of fruit and veggie fields..there were not as many animals around..i guess it was more of plantations..there were many signs which advertised brocollis, avocados and bananas for sale...

Then from Surfer's Paradise..we went to Brisbane for a day...it was good...We went into this Strawberry Farm before reaching Brissy..At the strawberry farm..there was a lil animal farm..and we got to get close to the pigs, cows, donkey and billy goats...sweet..Fortunately we had Calvin to bring us around...we managed to see the koalas and kangaroos in Lone Pine Sanctuary..went to Mt Cootha and Kangaroo Point to see the evening views of the city..it was BEAUTIFUL!!

From Brissy...we had to head back to Sydney to fly home...so we ended up in a town called Tamsworth for a stopover...small town it was..but quiet it wasn't...there were lots of motels and hotels with cars parked in it..and there was a stretch of shops which were still open when we drove in..not too bad...

ok..it's pretty long..i'll go unpack my stuff first...i'll continue my report again..haha...meanwhile..enjoy the pics..

2006-07-23T20:57:00.000+08:00

oooh...happy happy...
last night was my last night of clubbin in Canberra for this year...
and well..it was great!
Thanks to Sheena, Soffi and Co...i had a really super enjoyable time!!
Thanks guys!!
heez...good thing i didn't really get to drunk..
just that i had this frequent feeling of puking...hahaa..but i didn't anyhow...

This morning went to church..
and it's really nice to see everyone in church...
i've realised how close i've grown to everyone..
and it's like my family to me..
felt so bad that i didn't write enough cards for everyone..
only managed to write 19 personal cards to 19 ppl..
didn't manage to apologise enough to those that i didn't give cards to..
it's not that i never thought of them..
but that...there was just too many...
i know..bad excuse..

but i'm glad that everyone was looking forward to seeing me next yr..
and so..there was not much of sadness..
or emotional feeling...
it was all good...thanks to everyone who's made my life in Canberra so beautifully memorable...
hope to make more memories next year..if all goes well hopefully...

argh..i'm graduating in 3 days time..
jitterbugs settling in...

oooh...went shoppin yesterday..heehee...with ck..
my wonderful shopping buddy..hehee..
we're the same size in almost everything..but i guess not shoes..hahaa
anyways..i managed to get 2 tops and a pair of shoes...
so super happy!!!

oh i miss miki..wanna talk to her soon...

2006-07-19T07:31:00.000+08:00

I'm going to graduate next week...
but i don't feel excited at all...
mb cos i know that it's not really the end of my studies..
like i would be continuing to study if all goes well..
i used to think..why study so much..
but i guess this last step..my last postgraduate course that i choose to do..
it's so as to accomplish my wish of being a dietician..
whatever or wherever that may take me...

i'll be going back to Singapore next month...
i don't know where that will take me...
prob going to find a job and work for the next few months before my postgrad course starts next year...
seems like everything is planned...

feeling so unmotivated...
couldn't continue slping this morning...
can u imagine...
for such a late waker like me..
to wake up at 6 something am..and not be able to slp..
how bad is that...
feeling so down...

so 烦..
so 困扰...
why? why must like that...
why go already..disappear already..
have to u-turn...
why when u-turn already i never cherish...
then now wan to cherish...
a lil too late...
so salah..
so dysfunctional..

2006-07-17T16:34:00.000+08:00

24-
应昌佑/卫兰

男:两秒四秒八秒
秒秒也记挂你
其实每次见你
最怕最怕结尾看够钟未
见你抱你吻你
对你哪会过期
其实每晚要我说句
再见我也想死

一点一起三点一起七点一起
由日到晚也面对面你呼吸我氧气
合: tuesday wednesday thursday
friday saturday nights
期望以后也像这刻捉紧你
男:未见得够baby
女:还不满意baby
合:能每晚见见仍然未够只有你
男:你最好变细外借(女:缩小些)
(女:藏身你裤袋baby)
男:携带你见证日和月
合:不需再借

男:天光天黑天黑天光天光天黑
女:明白我再欠缺勇气晚晚与你分离
灰心伤心忐忑不安靠你安慰
(明日)合:我老了眼瞎了破了听你的声

合:早餐一起塞车一起食饭看戏
还是始终不够
我是太贪心因你起
男:一生一心一心一生这么好听
合:时间可否给我停顿到这夜
女:能跟你远走荒野
男:携带你见证日和夜
合: la……
na……da……
da la
女: da la

男:是我相信baby
女:是我相信baby
合:不只新鲜感我最清楚信我
男:你最好变细外借(女:收稳些)
女:避免害我做伤者
合:相恋得很失控我喜欢撒野
合: tuesady wednesday thursday
要见你

2006-07-15T16:36:00.000+08:00

my gosh!

tell u..it's almost impossible for me to lose weight...
i just keep eating...non stop...everything..and anything..
it's so horrible..sometimes i hate myself...
think i'm goin to be psychotic already lah...

so sianz...my back pain is back...
can hardly sit in the same position for half an hour...just feels so uncomfortable..
i think i over-exerted it yest when i was doin my overhead serves...
must be tooo long never practice..never warm up...my bad...
feel like doing yoga again..but i guess have to wait till i go back...

my fave song of the moment is:

24 by 应昌佑 and 卫兰

it's a cantonese song...it's really really sweet..wanna learn it...

2006-07-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

totally beat!

today's been such a long day for me...can't think bout anything but sleeping...
had a whole morning and noon of tennis and helpin out at the NCG games...
then night time had this Malaysian Night thing at Rydges...
it was all good...everyone had fun!
It's amazing how i can still play tennis after 6 mths of not touchin the racket...heez..
but really happy that i didn't really lose the skill yet...but prob the foot work and the consistency really have to improve...like i had a couple of games which i double-faulted until cannot make it...

but here's the tough question..
what is the best way to handle a set whereby u are playing against a beginner and u are playin for ur state in this competition?

like which is the best way to handle,
to kill the opponent as fast and less painful as possible?
or to ding-dong with the player till u win?
or to kill until the 2nd last game, and then give them a ding-dong session?

like on one hand..u dun wan to demoralise the opponent too much,
yet u know u cannot lose and that should play ur own game...
in a way u know u wun lose..but by ding-dongin, aren't u just risking urself to lose more?
if it's a competition, is it about winning really? sigh...so confused just now..
really tot the game was hard to play...
had to think ethically..
partly also cos i had other games lined up to play..so didn't really want to waste too much strength goin through the game...i ended up doing the dingdong till the 2nd last game..it was ok.

the food was pretty alright..
haha....it was suppose to be a buffet..but like everyone only managed to get one serving and maybe a bit more...the only thing that was freely flowing was the coke and water...i guess they just wanted to fill us up with water...and know what? each of us paid like 30 to 40 bucks for this meal...
so not worth it man...

hmmm thanks to hillya and soffi...now i think netball's a really fun game...
heehee...mainly cos there's sections and lines which certain ppl cannot pass..and therefore..
the area i get to run is smaller..haha i like that....it's like the only game like that..haha..but i don't know when i'll get to have a netball game again..hahaa

ok talk to u tom..hitting the sacks now

2006-07-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

heya...

hail Singapore! well well...i'm coming back soon! in exactly a month's time...
are u ready for my arrival>?

haha i know u all must be thinking, "wah lau..who do u think u are?!"
hahaha...it's normal..haha get used to it..or probably used to it liao..hahaha

well...yup..pretty excited to go back too...prob already psyched myself up...
hahaa...i'll miss canberra no doubt...but...dun worry canberra..i'll be back soon!

guess what guess what?! thanks to the influence of Celine, i got myself a tamagotchi too!!
haha it's a silver colour one (somehow tot it was too childish to get the flowered or colourful ones...)
heehee..i wanted the black one..but well they didn't have it..and thanks to lyn, i managed to get the tama for 18 plus @ kmart! it's like the cheapest i've found so far..so i just had to get it..heehee...

well i just did my visa today...
and it's like within a single swipe...200 plus aussie just flew away..
just for a few more weeks to stay in aussie...
hmmm guess that's how the country makes money huh...
but i guess it's worth it...

why?

cos...

MERYL'S GRADUATING!!!!!(woohoo!!!)
hee...Meryl's going to be a degree holder..hahaa....
yah i know..in today's context, it's not a big deal..
but i guess...it's like i've been schoolin for ages...
prob going to do a bit more next yr...but i'm really lookin forward to it...

2006-07-08T10:50:00.000+08:00

yay! last week was a blast! Cel finally came down to Canberra to visit me and hang out! it was so super duper fun...was really nice to be able to catch up and eat lots and lots...sighz..there's just too much to describe..haha but we were practically havin something in our mouths mb once every 2 to 3 hrs? hahaha....so fat so fat....hahahahaa..but eating is good..haha...

2006-06-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

Yay!! exams are over...so we need to party hard...hahahaa
nahhz...it's just chillin out and havin some fun before the results are out and we'll have to start all over again...making decisions and all...these days..i think i've been pretty blur about how i'm feelin about some stuff..like..actually i dun really feel anythin..but then mentally..i keep thinkin i still feel something for someone..how weird is that....and it's like cos of that..i end up doing stupid things..or sayin stupid stuff...sometimes ..it's not so good to be too honest..must be smart also ah...

yay..cel's coming tom..so excited...but so tired also..hahaa

oh yes yes..today...me and soffi cooked curry chicken and cheng tng...soooo goood...soooo funn....hahahaa...

2006-06-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

okiez..

finally moved house...
finally moved to turner..
the apartment's good..
really cosy..
really comfortable..
THank God for family..
i guess i've alwiz been pretty well taken care of by everyone..
seems like i've alwiz been the youngest or the younger one everywhere..
being the youngest in the family, being in canberra with an elder cousin, being the youngest our of the 4 of us good pals(though it's just like 4 mths diff min)..hahaa..but it's all good..
and sometimes it's like u just get so used to it..
so spoilt...or so takin others for granted..
to all the youngest kids of the family...dun u think we're so fortunate to have so many jie jies and kor kors around? heez...

busy week this week cos have to clean up and all..

2006-06-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

Birthday photos as promised!
hahaha...yay..thanks to soffi who brought the camera...lazy me...my camera was upstairs..hahaha

last paper tom...then after that...PPPAAARRRTTTYYY>>>!!!

2006-06-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today!!
what a surprise!!

Soffi tricked me! I thought that my night would just quietly go pass and that we would just be studying and watching soccer...heez...but in the end..heehee...at 12 plus..ching ching...
knock knock...SURPRISE!!!

so cool! Wendy, Angeline, Teresa, Arif and Hillya surprised me with a nice homemade bday cake and an in tune bday song!! and guess what..the cake was made by Soffi and i didn't know anything about it!!...Really really happy!...super delighted! my first homemade cake..and it was super..it had cheese on it, ice cream, cake, and an oreo base...like 4 layers..it was SUPER!!...SOFFI U'RE the BEST! we took many many pictures..i'll post it up another time..

and had really really lovely presents!...Beanie and scarf, chocs and gift card...earrings....Thanks guys...really feel loved!...and also not to forget CK's lovely caramel tart and choc muffin that she gave to me before she went back...ohh...and i've not forgotten..my early bday present which u gave me last month...a beautiful hand knitted long pink and white scarf...i've been using in ever since winter started..really came in just on time..thanks girl...miss u girl...see u in 3 wks okiez?

Thanks everyone for the surprises and the gifts and the love and the cards and the smses and cheerfulness...lovely birthday morn!

Sorry cel i didn't pick up the phone just now...but but..U'RE STILL THE FIRST PERSON TO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!..heehee...secret...only u and i know why.. yes? ..heehee..

lovely bday gifts